• inspiration2jms said on Nov 10, 2006....

  I have to say that I never really gave this topic much thought.  I have been married 3x and they were so different from one another that it is almost funny.
   
  My first was of average height and weight, dark hari ollive complection and a country boy through and through..
  He was good at remembering every special event and wanted them all celebrated.  He was verbally abusive.  (Lasted 19 years.)
   
  The second was 6'7", thin, bald and thought he was an intellectual.  Shame I didn't learn he was ignorant till after the wedding.  (2years)
   
  Then there is the current one.  Skinny as a rail, 5'7", backwoods country boy.  He never remembers birthdays, anniversaries, or even Christmas.  We have been together for 8-1/2 years.
   
   

• momsrock said on Nov 10, 2006....

  I am generally attracted to intelligent, groomed, dark haired men. But I married a man who looks like Mr. Clean... I have no idea what happened!  :)

• secretlife said on Nov 10, 2006....

  I'm usually attracted to intelligence. Other than that, in terms of looks, i don't much have a preference...when i was younger, it was always looks first. 

• silverwhisper said on Nov 11, 2006....

  inspiration: sounds to me like you prefer country boys and the abuse from your first made you do a 180.
  
  momsrock: heh...just b/c our type is [x] doesn't mean we wind up w/ [x], does it?  :>
  
  SL: what personality traits do you find attractive beyond intelligence?
  
  ed
  

• secretlife said on Nov 11, 2006....

  i like a creative person, someone who likes to communicate, has to have a sense of humor, an open mind, a sense of adventure, a strong sense of self...i think those are the big ones for me.

• harriedpsychmajor said on Nov 11, 2006....

  The most important trait to me is self-confidence. It's no fun to be with someone who mopes around. I also prefer the modest, well-read type. I guess you can say the type I'm attracted to is the quiet girl in the corner of the classroom. Confident in her abilities to communicate, yet reserved. Very conversational when afforded the chance, but when she talks she actually says something.
  

• queenparanoia said on Nov 11, 2006....

  i used to like cute-hollywood-type kind of guys then i realize most of them are assholes. now i look for someone who is confident but not cocky. smart but

• silverwhisper said on Nov 11, 2006....

  you know, i'm reading the responses i'm seeing from the ladies and am sitting here thinking to myself, "where the hell were you ladies when i was in high school?!"
  
  :>
  
  ed
  

• IFMU said on Nov 11, 2006....

  My tastes have changed a bit over the years, but not by much.
  There is one thing I have come to realize though. I was born in the wrong era. lol
  Recently I saw a show on VH-1 about a train that toured across Canada, awesome bands playing, the women on there were driving me insane!~! Gawd there were some freakin hotties. lol The whole 60's look for women just kill me, wowza.
  I do agree with you SW, that 'down-home' look is just tooooo nice.
  Hate make up, always have. It hides what I want to see, the woman that she is. :shrug:
  Any woman with baby blues can get me into trouble, without a doubt.
  

• Alyss said on Nov 11, 2006....

  Well as I said on Alienated's blog I don't really think I have a 'type' though my history is chequered with tall, dark haired ex's, though there was a red head in the mix too.
  
  What attracts me to someone is hard to define but I think a degree of wittiness and an ability to make me laugh as I tend to be very serious is a huge plus. Intelligence and openess with me is a must, I like someone who will not let me ride rough shod over them as I am very strong willed and someone with a similar outlook to life seems to go without saying.
  
  Physically I've always had a thing for hands, never understood it, but someone's hands can convey an awful lot of information about them.
  
  Having said all that with only one exception everyone I've ever dated has been a roleplayer so maybe an ability to be creative is the defining quality?
  

• secretlife said on Nov 11, 2006....

  LOL well ed, in High School we only looked with our eyes....

• scalywag said on Nov 11, 2006....

  I'm attracted to women in general.....there are things that certainly trun me on....but whether i'm attacted to any particular woman is usually determined by whether or not they have things that turn me off.
  
  Huge turnoffs are lip or tongue jewelry; loudmouths;  way to much pefurme;  way too much make-up; overdemanding.
  
  I do have a thing for fiesty women; women that are generally well-kept (meaning clean) but messy hair or rumpled clothes are ok; women with little of no make-up.....though a little lipstick - other than red - is ok.
  
  geez, I could go on and on.
  

• sweet*nothing said on Nov 11, 2006....

  Intelligent, confident, funny, funny, and funny.
  As for looks - my only one big thing is height.  He has to be tall. I'm completely superficial when it comes to that. 

• missb said on Nov 11, 2006....

  I'm like you, Ed. I like boy next door type.
   
  Good looking but not painfully good looking (the latter ones tend to be assholes), good natured and kind and of course he has to be smart. Like SL, that's one quality I can't ignore :)
   
  Physically, I like tall men with beautiful deep eyes.
   
  Cheers ;)

• sweetsoul said on Nov 11, 2006....

  Don't know if my tastes have changed over the years...I think it's more a case of honing them.
   
  Physically I'm attracted to tall, dark (eyes, hair, even skin) and handsome. Don't always get all of them in one package because in a relationship, those physical traits aren't important.
   
  I definitely go for intelligence and personality first. If that attracts me his physical appearance will become attractive to me because it's his.
   
  As for women...same applies but physical attraction runs to volutpuous Rubenesque women. I love the curves...all of them..but there is this slim, athletic woman I'd gladly make an exception for. ;)

• silverwhisper said on Nov 11, 2006....

  IFMU: good eyes...mm...i know what you mean, man.  :>
  
  alyss: that thing about hands--that's actually rather insightful, i think.
  
  SL: i must be weird.  that really wasn't what i keyed on back then.  but you know, i'm eminently OK w/ being weird.  :>
  
  scaly: i too could go on at great length myself, but figured i'd better stop while i was ahead.  :>
  
  sweet*nothing: i think that we all are somewhat superficial in some way.  i don't think there's any shame in that.
  
  miss b: :>
  
  sweetsoul: i like your comment re: appearance becoming attractive.  :>  and i too have a fondness for more rubensesque bodies as i remarked elsewhere.  :>
  
  ed
  

• elleb84 said on Nov 11, 2006....

  i like smart, quiet, funny athletic guys. we have to be physically compatibale(sex has to be good, i.e. his willingness to please)...

• gingersoul said on Nov 11, 2006....

  Ed,

  i am still attracted to look, why deny it? BUT the big difference is that when i was younger i would stop right there....now hadsome men who are simply and only that would bore me to death......or i would consider them pretty toys...

  I tend to prefer men who likes to talk (a lot) about anything, who makes me laugh (even more), who are curious about me and my ideas, adventurous, naughty, with a smirk in their eyes, men who know how the world runs, interested in learning. Intellectual men with a handyman touch. A carpenter body with a professor mind..lol....(where, oh where art thou?)...

  I had me with all these qualities problem was never one single guy with all of them. I got the handsome, naughty and smiriking and confident carpenter guy but with no intellectual twist (my ex husband) and intellectual, funny, curious and great with kids kind of guy (one for them my last ex boyfriend) but lacking in sexual chemistry....  

  Physically i have only one condition: i like them tall and slender.....not big muscles for me...hate them..but a lean body is good to see and touch...i like them well dressed but comfortbale in any jeans and t-shirt..

  Oh, the sex....well being my fav man, as i said, naughty and interested to learn and smirking...i think i said all...:-)

  Phone numbers anyone?    Lol 

  **Alyss......me too......i have a feticism for men's hands. I tend to be attracted to them, i think they are the very first thing i notice with eyes and shoulder. Butt comes soon after....lol 

   

• rmuxagirl said on Nov 11, 2006....

  I'm attracted to intelligence, good conversations, comfort If i'm not comfortable around him I can't be with him.  Um creativity, ambition and alot of otehr different stuff.
  

• Zayda said on Nov 11, 2006....

  A friend and I have discussed several times that he doesn't understand my type.  I find certain things attractive about men.  I have a thing for eyes and hands.  But I also prefer someone who is intelligent, funny, and can be a bit snarky. 
  
  Looks are not ultimately the most important thing for me.  I will admit that looks do turn my head occassionally, but there isn't one certain look that turns my head.  And well, once you get past the looks, if there is no substance, then the looks really aren't worth much.   I like to be able to hold interesting and intelligent conversations with any man that I find interesting.
  
  As far as body type goes--lol...I don't have a type when it comes to that.  I typically pefer a man who is taller than I am, but he can be tall and lanky or he can be very muscular  Either is good with me.  In fact, if you look back at the relationships in my history, most of the men are vastly different. 
  
  I dated a professional body builder who was muscular and had beautiful golden brown shoulder length hair. I dated a professional chef who was in good shape and had short dirty blonde hair.  My first finance had dark hair that always had that tousled just out of bed look to it unless it was summer and he buzz cut it. He was a black belt but his body shape and musculature was much different than the professional body builder. 
  
  And then there is my husband, who has a swimmer's body because he swam competitively for years. He's tall, lanky, and has beautiful ab and chest muscles along with great shoulders.  And well, swimming actually does a great deal for the legs, plus he played (and still plays) basketball whenever he can fit it in.
  

• MissMimi said on Nov 11, 2006....

  Z, that husband of your sounds too yummy for words.  Just had to say that. 

  I'm definitely attracted to a man who's intelligent, compassionate, and has a killer sense of humor.  I love to laugh.  I'm attracted to a man who is comfortable with acknowledging feelings, mine and his own.

  As for looks, I can't say that I have a "type".  Long hair, short hair, no hair, doesn't really matter to me.  Although I have always had a thing for tall men.  Of course, tall is relative.  Everybody is taller than me.

   

• Alyss said on Nov 11, 2006....

  The strange thing is ed that I am likely to hide my hands when I meet someone as I have been a nail biter all my life and hate my hands. After hands then I think it's probably someone's eyes that might attract me, that twinkle when they smile or how the colour changes with their moods, perhaps because my own are hidden behind glasses.
  
  Zayda; competitive swimmer eh? I swam competitively for many years and can well imagine the build to which you are referring. Sadly my own swimmers build remains these days only in my shoulders and legs which are still fairly well muscled unlike the rest of me.
  

• Alyss said on Nov 11, 2006....

  Mimi; lol! Everyone is taller than me too!

• Zayda said on Nov 11, 2006....

  MissMimi:  My hubby is yummy!  :)
  
  Alyss:  Yes, he swam all through high school and college, which did prevent him from playing basketball in hs but his church always fielded a basketball team in the city rec leagues. So, he managed to play basketball almost all the while too.  Now, he plays basketball through the parks rec leagues as well as with guys from his church at the crack of dawn most saturdays. 
  

• raft said on Nov 11, 2006....

  I'm not going to say that physique has little to do with it, but I can say there is no specific thing that will attract my eye. It's usually a combination of things. My wife's smile caught my eye. She's got one of those smiles that will literally light up a room.
  
  Physique usually gets trumped by personality before long, so that's where the "low maintenance" come in. I've had a conversation with someone once where she probably hit every single one of my physical triggers, but after less than 30 seconds of conversation, I was turned off.
  

• melodii said on Nov 12, 2006....

  i never had "a type" before until my gf told me that i had to list down what i want, then only can i get it, so i did. took me awhile to know exactly what i am looking for.

  now that he has found me, he doesn't have the whole list of requirements but close. thanks to SW & all those commented here, now i know for sure most women do have similar requirements! =)

• silverwhisper said on Nov 12, 2006....

  elle: question is, how do you determine whether you should let someone close enough to find out if you're sexually compatible?  unles of course you've got your own version of the five minute rule.  :>
  
  r: sounds like you need chemistry.  ?
  
  GS: heh.  :D
  
  super z, mimi: i think the fact that you two don't have type per se is cool.  :>  and sounds like you should compare notes on folks you find attractive.
  
  alyss: somehow, i always just assumed you wore glasses.  isn't that odd?
  
  raft: oo, i hate it when someone's so appealing on the surface and revolting on the inside.
  
  melodii: nice to see you again.  :>
  
  ed
  

• Alyss said on Nov 12, 2006....

  Odd? Maybe, maybe not. Mental images are not always inaccurate besides I have posted photos before elsewhere.
  
  I tried contacts but unfortunately me & they simply did not get along.
  

• silverwhisper said on Nov 12, 2006....

  no, i had that impression prior to seeing the photos.  :>
  
  ed
  

• the_infernal_optimist said on Nov 12, 2006....

  Hmm...eyes are a big thing for me. If a guy can look at me and it feels like he's seeing more than my hair, face, etc. that really gets to me in a good way.
  
  Also, I prefer tall guys with dark hair, and green or blue eyes.
  
  My DH has dirty blonde hair, hazel eyes, and is about an inch shorter than I am. :-D *shrug* C'est la vie!
  
  Reminds me of an Andy Griggs song, "She's More":
  
  "She's not at all what I was looking for
  She's more..." :)
  

• EvilTwin said on Nov 14, 2006....

  I'm not sure I have a specific 'type' either.  I find personality to be more important to me than anything else. But I have been known to look at a person's eyes...  I have never been afraid to look someone in the eye, and I find that I can learn a lot by doing so.
   
  What I find most attractive however, is my soulmate.  I know it sounds soppy, but it's true.  We've gotten to know one another, sharing personal things that mean so much to ourselves, and we found that those things are important to one another as well.  And I've not even gotten to see her eyes up close and personal yet.  But I already know what I'll see in them when I do...
   

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