- In really
ancient times, people knew only integers (you know, counting numbers,
1, 2, 3...). Later they found the need for fractions, then irrational
numbers (you know, like 3.14159...).
- In ancient times, you were either a a child or an adult. In-betweens were not allowed; strict rites of passage observed by the entire community made sure of that. Now you have infant, baby, toddler or pre-school age, preteen, young teen, and so on, all the way to the doddering 90's. Marketing strategies make sure of that.
- Before the 20th century, you were either male or female. Sexual roles did not allow for much overlapping. In-betweens were mostly ostracized (except for special, usually ritualized, roles) or, if their achievements were undeniable, tolerated as eccentrics. Then in the last few decades, the roles got blurred. (Not really. The spectography just became more sophisticated.).
- Even the key indicators of life itself has become blurred. Witness the unending debate on foetuses and cutting life support systems to brain-dead patients.
- I could go on -- the concept of races,
languages vis-a-vis dialects, Western medicine vis-a-vis folk and
oriental healing practices...
Now to turn lyrical.
I knew a young precocious boy once. (I leave it to you to speculate whether I was in fact that young boy, or someone else I knew very well.) Let's call him Charlie. By age 8, Charlie was reading the thick volumes on sex education -- with nice explicit drawings -- which his parents had thoughtfully placed on the top shelf of their home library for him to discover as he prowled the big house during long summer days. At least in theory, he had knowledge of cunnilingus, fellatio, coitus interruptus, multiple orgasms, and By age 10, he had discovered masturbation and play-sex with a pretty 9 year old neighbor -- sometimes under her parents' bed, but always short of "going all the way." (His penis couldn't find the orifice hidden inside the chubby folds between her open legs, and she kept on giggling so much they decided to stop for fear of being discovered under the bed.)
Charlie was so guilty (thanks to a strict Catholic upbringing) that he swore to remain a virgin both in mind and body until he was properly married. But he couldn't. You know, typical teenage raging hormones. He masturbated almost every day. But at least his intellectual approach led him to Kinsey, Masters and Johnson, Hite, Henry Miller, and Anais Nin before sleazy porn became the rage. By the time he was 18, he was hooked on Penthouse and knew all the techniques (in theory), although he never had a real girlfriend and was painfully awkward and shy around girls.
In college, Charlie had a few girlfriends, who consecutively dumped him in exasperation because on dates he behaved like a contemplative monk who wanted to explore Kant, not cunt. He wasn't sexually dysfunctional, just terribly shy and guilt-ridden. He was finally and properly "deviriginized" by his wife on their honeymoon -- at age 25.
And here's the twist. His wife, whom we shall call Cathy, was raped by a brother-in-law when she was 16. She became a man-hater and acted like a tomboy. She found sex dirty, didn't even let her hands linger "down there" when she washed herself because she felt it was too filthy. She didn't know what orgasm meant, having been brought up in a cloistered Catholic school for girls. In college, she was a cocktease who flustered men because she acted so flirtatious but never went on dates.
Then she met Charlie. They dated and fell in love. She told him of her rape. He told her it made him love her more. He taught her the things he learned from his parent's sex-education library, supplemented by Hite, Kinsey, Miller and Nin. She was ready to unlearn her fears, and he was ready to explore her folds. Once when they were alone at her parents' house, during a session of heavy petting that didn't "go all the way," he gave her her very first orgasm with his tongue and fingers. She came so noisily, sobbing and flailing and clawing on the bed sheets, that he also came on the spot although she hadn't even touched him there yet. Their intense love was now solidly bonded with sex although they still "didn't go all the way" as befitted their Catholic upbringing.
They got married two years later, finally "went all the way" -- you could say they deflowered each other -- and like a what any normal horny couple does on honeymoon, went at it day and night for nearly a month. For them, the sex was both sacred and physically awesome.
So tell me. Is it of any relevance now, to society at large or to both of them in their sexual life, to determine exactly when did Charlie lose his virginity, and Cathy hers?
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