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Silverwhisper asked about virginity. I told him i'll be philosophical, then turn lyrical.
  • In really ancient times, people knew only integers (you know, counting numbers, 1, 2, 3...). Later they found the need for fractions, then irrational numbers (you know, like 3.14159...).
  • In ancient times, you were either a a child or an adult. In-betweens were not allowed; strict rites of passage observed by the entire community made sure of that. Now you have infant, baby, toddler or pre-school age, preteen, young teen, and so on, all the way to the doddering 90's. Marketing strategies make sure of that.
  • Before the 20th century, you were either male or female. Sexual roles did not allow for much overlapping. In-betweens were mostly ostracized (except for special, usually ritualized, roles) or, if their achievements were undeniable, tolerated as eccentrics. Then in the last few decades, the roles got blurred. (Not really. The spectography just became more sophisticated.).
  • Even the key indicators of life itself has become blurred. Witness the unending debate on foetuses and cutting life support systems to brain-dead patients.
  • I could go on -- the concept of races, languages vis-a-vis dialects, Western medicine vis-a-vis folk and oriental healing practices...
At this point, you must know how I view the issue of virginity. Modern civilization has outgrown the old black-and-white categories and yardsticks that define it (except in the minds of Cenozoic conservatives). The concept has become as irrelevant as that of trying to measure intelligence by means of a stupid paper-and-pencil test called IQ. I think it's good that more people now accept (and use) the more spectographically complex concepts of sexuality.

Now to turn lyrical.

I knew a young precocious boy once. (I leave it to you to speculate whether I was in fact that young boy, or someone else I knew very well.) Let's call him Charlie. By age 8, Charlie was reading the thick volumes on sex education -- with nice explicit drawings -- which his parents had thoughtfully placed on the top shelf of their home library for him to discover as he prowled the big house during long summer days. At least in theory, he had knowledge of cunnilingus, fellatio, coitus interruptus, multiple orgasms, and By age 10, he had discovered masturbation and play-sex with a pretty 9 year old neighbor -- sometimes under her parents' bed, but always short of "going all the way." (His penis couldn't find the orifice hidden inside the chubby folds between her open legs, and she kept on giggling so much they decided to stop for fear of being discovered under the bed.)

Charlie was so guilty (thanks to a strict Catholic upbringing) that he swore to remain a virgin both in mind and body until he was properly married. But he couldn't. You know, typical teenage raging hormones. He masturbated almost every day. But at least his intellectual approach led him to Kinsey, Masters and Johnson, Hite, Henry Miller, and Anais Nin before sleazy porn became the rage. By the time he was 18, he was hooked on Penthouse and knew all the techniques (in theory), although he never had a real girlfriend and was painfully awkward and shy around girls.

In college, Charlie had a few girlfriends, who consecutively dumped him in exasperation because on dates he behaved like a contemplative monk who wanted to explore Kant, not cunt. He wasn't sexually dysfunctional, just terribly shy and guilt-ridden. He was finally and properly "deviriginized" by his wife on their honeymoon -- at age 25.

And here's the twist. His wife, whom we shall call Cathy, was raped by a brother-in-law when she was 16. She became a man-hater and acted like a tomboy. She found sex dirty, didn't even let her hands linger "down there" when she washed herself because she felt it was too filthy. She didn't know what orgasm meant, having been brought up in a cloistered Catholic school for girls. In college, she was a cocktease who flustered men because she acted so flirtatious but never went on dates.

Then she met Charlie. They dated and fell in love. She told him of her rape. He told her it made him love her more. He taught her the things he learned from his parent's sex-education library, supplemented by Hite, Kinsey, Miller and Nin. She was ready to unlearn her fears, and he was ready to explore her folds. Once when they were alone at her parents' house, during a session of heavy petting that didn't "go all the way," he gave her her very first orgasm with his tongue and fingers. She came so noisily, sobbing and flailing and clawing on the bed sheets, that he also came on the spot although she hadn't even touched him there yet. Their intense love was now solidly bonded with sex although they still "didn't go all the way" as befitted their Catholic upbringing.

They got married two years later, finally "went all the way" -- you could say they deflowered each other -- and like a what any normal horny couple does on honeymoon, went at it day and night for nearly a month. For them, the sex was both sacred and physically awesome.

So tell me. Is it of any relevance now, to society at large or to both of them in their sexual life, to determine exactly when did Charlie lose his virginity, and Cathy hers?

My case is different though. I'm still looking for nekkid gurrlzz and hack warezz in kewl websites. I don't know why I continue to hang around SC when there's no nekkid gurrllz and hack warezz here.

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Comments

  • silverwhisper said on Nov 10, 2006....
    wait a sec: didn't you post his before?

    and incidentally: i love the title of this blog entry.  :>

    ed
  • moonriver said on Nov 10, 2006....
    yes sw, i posted this as a comment on your "on the nature of... " series that posed questions on how people viewed virginity. i merely wanted to bring it in line with my own blog posts and iron out my own inconsistencies -- the price i pay for maintaining a 7-way split blog personality :-)
  • silverwhisper said on Nov 10, 2006....
    i couldn't remember if it was a comment or something else, but even so, i've been known to recycle an old blog entry once or twice, so it wasn't intended as a criticism.  :>

    ed
  • PAPERBACKWRITER said on Nov 10, 2006....

    This is beautiful---poignant historical analysis, and a poetic tribute to physical love; it´s touching, moon. = )

    I was a virgin until I turned 21 by choice,and my husband was my first lover.

    My mom was religious, and so was hers but they did not force it on us.  We just grew in a place where people are predominantly Catholic and very conservative.  Though my mom tried to be open and lenien, she couldn´t shake off her upbringing.  And we had rules about dating and premarital sex.

    So what does that got to do with virginity.  I always get caught when I break the rules:ALWAYS!  And even as a child I witnessed a lot of unwanted teen-age pregnancies.  And that was definitely not for me!

    I´m in my early 30´s and as a 7 year old, I already knew what I want, and pardon me if it comes out as  arrogance but I´ve reached almost all the goals I´ve set.

    I grew up with the decision, I´ll learn everything about sex and erotic through books evetually practice all my wantoness abondan to my future hubby.  I have ALWAYS been lucky with the friends I choose.  So while growing up, I read a lot my taste is very eclectic.  But all girls grow up with fairy tales, romance novels.  And one of those friends, she was far older than I she was almost finished in college, while I was in Junior High ( I was a 5 when I started school; in our country very early)lent  me a verrrrrry erotic book!

    I was 13 then, that´s when I learned to masturbate = ) , best thing that happened to my life.  Knowledge is power, and books are full of knowledge.

    Since I got married I have not read them anymore, at first my being in love was aphrodisiac enough.

    Lately, I´m finding pleasure in them again, not only from an avid reader-wanting to be a writer herself view, but it is simply a good foreplay literature *LOL*!

    Great Post, moon!

    = )paper

    P.S. I do a lot of recycling myself and it happened a lot that some comments I did became a blog; I call it hitting two birds with one stone or plain efficiency: networking, exchanging ideas and profitting from your eloquent posted comments. ; ) 
  • secretlife said on Nov 10, 2006....

    Moon: I had remembered this from sw's post-  and as always, you're writing is wonderful to read--

    Paper: those books can give you new ideas sometimes as well...there are times when we have to spark our own interest .....anyway, they serve different purposes at different times in our lives.  And yeah, knowledge is power.

  • BlogObsessed said on Nov 11, 2006....
    Well, I didn't see this the first time it was posted.  Glad I caught it now.  Your story certainly seems to probe (accidental word choice!!) at the grey area of the questions of what is virginity.  Yes, according to the dictionary definition, I believe, the pre-marital encounters described above don't count as de-virginifying.  However, whose to say a dictionary is always in tune with the actualities of life.  It certainly seems like splitting hairs to me to claim that the premarital encounters above didn't deflower the particpants.  A matter of semantics?  Stay tuned to my blog story - my heroine is soon going to "reclaim" her virginity - an idea I've had from the begining that has been further nurtured by all of the talk on SC lately about virginity. 
  • thexperfectximperfection said on Nov 15, 2006....
    I'm not entirely sure what to write about this entry. I don't have much to say on the topic but I can appreciate the thought that went into this post. I like the title. It is quite eye catching.
  • moonriver said on Nov 15, 2006....
    paper, secretlife, blog0bsessed -- moonriver confucius say, 10 kowtows to you. me humbled by good words, but me no expert on virginity. me only amateur practitioner in spare time lol.

    perfect imperfection: me glad you like eyecatching title. me truly expert in eyecatching titles. now if only i have same skill in girl catching. szechuan werewolf better in this but he no help in my plight.

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