I was running around the house this morning doing everything but what I was supposed to be doing. I kept on instigating conversation with my family regarding how corrupt our nation's government is, all in an effort to get them lost in heated debate with one another and sneak off to my bedroom to sleep rather than do whatever "chores" I was supposed to (aka find the Blockbuster movie that I had lost, according to my mother, although I never watched it). This normally would have been a very easy task since my house is full of women... and if you know anything about women, they absolutely LOVE to have a chance to rant, ramble, and complain to whomever about whatever comes to their mind. I was successful in this endeavor... only it was apparently not enough of a distraction for they forced me to remain in the discussion, thoroughly reminding me that I needed to find that bloody film (which I was convinced my mother had probably lost). You see, one time, long ago (approximately six months or so) I lost a pair of very expensive 15 year old Christian Lacroix earrings that I had borrowed from my mother and the terrible woman has held i against me ever since. So whenever something of hers that I was slightly interested in goes missing, she automatically assumes that I lost it... it's horrible. Anywho, the longer I sat there in their midst, the more disturbed I became by the fact that I had created my own prison. I began to fidget and speak loudly, nervously biting on my lower lip and drinking down the last of the Minute Maid fruit punch I had sitting before me in an effort to moisten my slightly parched mouth and throat. My mother, in a very intimidating manner, began fiddling with the other DvD case that was sitting on the kitchen table before me. Jumping up very suddenly, I announced that I had to go to the bathroom and that I was (conveniently) feeling a migraine coming on and needed some serious rest.... Somehow the excuse worked. I ran upstairs too the bathroom and fiddled around with the sink, flushing the toilet to make it seem as if I had done something... significant.... I then began to make my way to my bedroom... when suddenly I began swooning. I really was getting a bloody migraine.... Of all things! Pssssht. I don't like lying anyways so I guess it was for the better. Anywho, so I catch myself on the banister and felt as if I was going to faint. Luckily, my mother caught sight of my behavior and sent me to bed immediately, declaring that she herself would find the video and asking if I wanted any tea. "No, nothing... I'll be alright," I replied. "Are you sure?", she asked. "Yes, Ill be fine, thanks. By the way, you know I don't have that video. You probably lost it." She looked at me and rolled her eyes. "No, I'm serious," I replied with gall and determined to prove I never had the thing,"you lost that video, mommy. I'm not going to freak out looking for it when I didn't lose it. I don't even remember watching it!" I said and then ran into my room before I could hear what would have most likely been her slightly character demeaning retort. Once in my bedroom, I lowered the shades and collapsed sideways onto my bed. I felt my body sink into the mattress, my left thigh being jabbed by an obnoxious spring. Somehow, within the few years that I have had it, I managed to wear my mattress down. (Don't you freaks get any ideas!) I needed a new one. I was waking up every morning feeling like an 84 year old woman with rheumatoid arthritis and a lack of pillows. Anywho, I maneuvered my body until I was lying on my back and out of the way of the spring's attack. And then I felt it... something with a sharp but flat edge sort of digging into the back of my right thigh. "What the hell is wrong with this mattress?!", I thought to myself. I moved my leg and felt the thing move with it. Feeling around I realized that the object was not a spring at all, and with a panicky feeling I jumped up and lifted my leg only to see a flat and round disk lying beneath me, sort of gleaming in the bit of light that escaped through my curtains... it was the DvD. Almost on cue, my mother knocked and opened up my door just as I flung the disk across my room into a pile of clothes that I had lying on the floor. But it was too late for the woman saw the shiny disk land just as she walked into the room. "What was that?", she asked as she put my tea down beside my bed. "Uhm... hehe", I said nervously (for I realized that once again I was wrong and had lost yet another battle against the woman, who would undoubtedly use this victory against me in many future controversies). It was too late, I sank beneath my bedsheets, imbibed by my loss and embarrassed at my wrong, trying to coerce myself into some sort of dreamy slumber.