I did one of the tarrot card reading things that you get in the paper yesterday. You know , where they have a series of cards printed and you have to shut your eyes for 12 seconds and then open them and see what card your eyes are drawn to then read the section relating to that card. It said my new love would be walking two dogs. Well that's fecking fantastic. I didn't see anyone all day who was walking two dogs. Not that I'm looking but if I was that would be a fat lot of good wouldn't it. What am I supposed to do, take the day off and go hang around parks in london? That does wonders for your reputation that does... just ask George Michael. So I thought I'd write my own horoscopes today... or rather since it's halloweren time and all some horrorscopes. I can't do any worse.

 

Aries

You will meet a stranger who will make your head turn today. Just slightly to one side so they can reach your neck more easily. You will find this new relationship gives you wings but leaves you drained at the same time. Try to find a new job working at night for your own health and try to avoid gambling or anything else to do with stakes.

 

Taurus

Second place just isn't right for you today. So try to avoid silver at all costs. But a new hairstyle will have you and others around you howling with glee. You'll have the urge to be up all night but remember heavy nights can often leave you regretting some of your actions in the morning. In spite of that you are sure to make a killing if you do venture out and you're set to go a little wild.

 

Gemini

True to your dual personality you'll find a side you thought Hydden. It's time to let loose something you've tried to keep buried deep within you for so long.What's the worst that can happen after all? Aside from the complete destruction of your soul, life and almost everything you care for.

 

Cancer

It's time to look for that little spark of magic in your life. Find it and you'll soon have all around you up in arms though so do try to keep it to yourself. Witch ever you approach it however you'll soon find you're a Wizz at all you attempt. 

 

Leo

You little devil. Your mischevious streak has come to the fore and you just wanna show everyone quite what an imp you can be. Be careful though or this might have others seeing red at your actions. They may even ask you to fork off with your tail between your legs.

 

Virgo

You're finding things a bit repetative and mindless, leaving you feeling completely braindead. If you do feel the urge to indulge in the pleasures of the flesh you'll find this soon will give you a completely new lust for life. This will soon spread to all those around you too.

 

Libra

You're feeling a bit invisible at the moment. People seem to look right through you and it seems to take a physical manifestation before people notice. Try to leave people signs you exist and even spell it out for them  a letter at a time if you need to. Then there's a ghost of a chance that that haunted expression will soon have left your visage.

 

Scorpio

It's time to stop Harping on about things. If you're female try to lighten up and you'll soon be flying, though do try to curb your fiercer instincts. If you're male beware of women who seem to be after just a meal ticket or you'll find yourself having to put your heart and soul into it.

 

Sagittarius

Wherever you go today you'll have a certain closeness to your Mummy. But try to keep yourself together or everything might soon become unravelled. Your relentlessness will give you the drive to do many almost superhuman things but remember even though things may seem to be lasting for eternity all good things do come to an end (bad things too) and you might just go down in a ball of fire.

 

Capricorn

You have some Ghoul about you today but this new found audacity may end you in grave trouble. You have an insatiable appetite for humanity but people may be wary of you. Try not to feed off of those around you especially at work or you may soon find yourself fired.

 

Aquarius

While others may feel you're just clowning around you know that you are IT. You find it vary easy to get inside other people's head and people feel floaty around you. Something of a social chamaeleon you can be many things to many people. Though you do seem to find groups of kids to be more than just an annoyance. Try not to be too overconfident of your abilities or to underestimate others.

 

Pisces

While you may consideer yourself a Jack of all trades you may well find yourself on a long and fruitless journey. You feel a bit hollow headed at times but there is a fire within you that continues to burn. Try to carve a niche out of... sorry, for yourself and you'll be shining a light for all those around.

 

Phew well that'll do methinks. Enough bad puns for now quite Frankly. Could do with a Stein of lager or maybe a few spirits. Enough to give me a monster hangover anyway. Ahem, ahem.