For Gods sake, will someone tell me how long do you hold a grudge? Its unbelievable the story I read in the paper today about a nurse anaesthetist who poisened a patient because she stole her boyfried in high school 30 years ago. The patient went in for plastic surgery and soon after the surgery she went into cardiac arrest and died a few days later.
Hill and Joyner were students at Olympic High School in Charlotte in the early 1970s. Joyner was a member of the Class of '73; Hill graduated a year later.
During a 2003 deposition given to the state medical board, Hill said she knew Joyner in junior high and high school.
"She was one of the judges of my cheerleading experience when I was in the eighth grade," Hill testified. Asked whether they were friends, Hill said no, but "I would see her and her then-boyfriend ... walk around school together because he was in football and she was a cheerleader or letter girl, something like that."
Joyner later married John Joyner; the two separated before her death. Police said John Joyner is not the boyfriend Hill believed was stolen from her.
The medical board blamed Hill for Joyner's death, calling her "grossly negligent" in administering fentanyl without the plastic surgeon's permission and for taking too long to alert the doctor that Joyner was having problems. The plastic surgeon took responsibility for the death in a 2003 agreement with the board but kept his license. Hill gave hers up.
Joyner's family filed a malpractice lawsuit against the plastic surgeon and Hill; the case was settled in 2003 on confidential terms.
In his 2003 deposition before the medical board, the plastic surgeon blamed Hill for the patient's death, calling her "a rogue nurse on her own wild mustang, riding through the West, you know, shooting whoever she wants."
Tucker described Hill's behavior on the day of Joyner's surgery as out of character: "She's flipped out. She's going nuts. She snapped."
Tucker said he reported his suspicions to the district attorney's office. It is not clear why it took until this year for Hill to be charged; District Attorney Peter Gilchrist has said only that his office asked the police department's cold case squad to take a look at Joyner's death after receiving new information.
MsStar39 posted on Oct 28, 2006
| views: 1152
Comments
-
dailyachesandpains said on Oct 28, 2006....
Hi Ms,I've heard bits and pieces of that story. It is a little long to hold a grudge and this woman took it to an extreme.I've been holding a grudge for 3 years now and going strong. I guess I really can't say that. I decided a month a go that I couldn't be bothered anymore and had other things that took priority over the hate I have for this person. We haven't spoken for 3 years, and it's a family member. If I ever see her, I will acknowledge her presence and that's about it, maybe just a 'hello.'If this person was ever under my care though, I can say that I would do everything in my power to save her. I might say that I couldn't work the case because of conflict of interest, if you will. But, if I had no choice, she is a mother, a daughter, an aunt, a wife and a sister to someone. Most importantly she is a human being and deserves life. I couldn't, and wouldn't, ever take that away from anyone, no matter what my personal feelings are about her.Daily -
queenparanoia said on Oct 28, 2006....
whatever the reason, how deep the hurt may be, it is not enough reason to hold a grudge like that. because if you hold on so much hatred you'll surely never learn to go on with your life. -
MikoFabulous said on Oct 28, 2006....
Have you seen the movie 'Match Point'? Well, that's a statement in and of itself.I can tell you there were times in my life I wanted to seriously INTIMIDATE and make a statement to the people who'd hurt and humiliated me. I wanted to make a splash! I wanted to get them back at their own game! Did I ever want to cause them any physical, financial or legal harm? No, NEVER. I hated them. I thought they were EVIL. I knew (even though I wish it wasn't so) that their actions were deliberately cruel to me. Teenagers are like another species! But we all grew up. These people you speak of never realized that mean teenagers do grow up into responsible adults. Or at least, just adults.Whether there is a heaven or hell, and whatever rules decifer whether you get in or not, the one thing I can stand by is that I have never deliberately caused anyone pain of any kind. We all hurt people with the things we say and do carelessly, but if I have never made a statement to hurt someone else. If I have I have taken it back in full force as the full fault of my own anger at the time. I have never not apologized for hurting someone that I knew of. I would rather hurt myself han someone else.So of all my sins I still feel like a good person knowing that I never meant to hurt anyone. -
Tarts39 said on Oct 29, 2006....
"How long do you hold a grudge?" Well, I can't really answer that. It's always easy to advise others not to take it long but I think it really depends on the depth of the shit they put you into. All of us have their own strengths and weaknesses, the capability to handle and accept such things... Sometimes, though considered very typical, the concept of time and some space still matters.
I am my own tough but weak to face my own fear...
-
rhmagee said on Oct 29, 2006....
A grudge is a sort of self made IOU and lasts until it is settled, obviously it was about thirty years fot Hill, But the fact remains a grudge remains unrectified until one;- Receives an appopriate apology
- Forgives it
- Exacts justice upon it
- Forgets it
Otherwise it might last indefinitely.
-
ALIENated said on Oct 29, 2006....
It really does not matter for me because I would never act on the grudge in the way the nurse did. Someone spoke badly to me the first time we ever met. I never thought highly of the person after that, but that was about it. I forgave them immediately. -
dailyachesandpains said on Oct 29, 2006....
Miko, that move 'Match Point' was EXCELLENT! I had to come home early from a family thing just to watch the rest of it in silence.Daily -
Lioness said on Oct 29, 2006....
Hi Ms. I've been hating a co-employee since she stepped right into our office to apply for a job, 5 years ago, until now. She is very intelligent and educated, but she is also rude and sarcastic. I tried to be close to her, but I ended up being a subject of her ridicules, behind my back. So I was really relieved when she was transferred to another branch. Even thinking of her would really ruin my day. I don't know if I have the problem, but I honestly did'nt feel this way to anybody except her. Nevertheless, I believe in the law of karma, so I really have'nt thought of doing her any harm or something to that sort.
-
guesty said on Oct 29, 2006....
Grudges don't really get people anywhere, we just gotta learn to live with eachothers differences.
-
moonriver said on Oct 29, 2006....
How long should one hold a grudge? I say, for as long as the grudge isn't fully discharged. Grudge is an intense, zillion-volt electric charge inside you. The key is to understand it, and discharge it in a very controlled way, without hurting others or yourself in the process. Some people have wisely harnessed their zillion-volt grudges, and now they soar like spaceships. I like to discharge my grudges in non-fatal 12-volt sparks that will tickle some people and singe others. I simply ignore the original persons who produced my grudges. They're not worthy to receive my 12-volt blessings. Ever. So here's my point: hold your grudge for as long as possible, but learn to convert it into (and release it as) positive emotional energy.
-
moonriver said on Oct 29, 2006....
I've been mulling about my comment on holding a grudge (see above). I left out the idea of forgiveness, and now I think I should explain more. Why should you forgive the person who hurt you? That's unnatural. It's like bumping into a tree or falling into a hole, and then forgiving it. "I forgive you, tree. I forgive you, hole." You're likely to bump into a tree or fall into a hole again. The point is to remember, to learn a lesson, to avoid a repeat. If this is what forgiving means, then let's all forgive the Nazis.
-
rhmagee said on Oct 30, 2006....
I agree Moonriver, perhaps though that one merely decides to hold a grudge is a forgiveness of sorts. It allows an opportunity of reconciliation. Grudges come about from what amounts to acts of betrayal. For example that you have invested a great deal of time, energy, and intimate personal insight to a friend or a lover that you feel safe to do so with then that "significant other" goes about using that "insider info" against you and bares your soul to others that you wished not to have such intimate understandings bared to. That is a a horrible act of betrayal! Immediately a grudge is placed to put a stop to that now forever mistrusted relationship with that other. That is inevitable and don't see where forgiveness comes into play? Some actions are entirely unforgivable and I think we all must agree to that! -
peedee said on Oct 31, 2006....
There is an endless grudge against a person who has hurt you. I have an endless grudgeagainst my mother,my dead brother's wife, my sisters, my brother who inflicted severe pain andmental torture after the death of my father twenty years back. But does that mean that becauseof that hatred I should take a revenge by killing all of them. IT WOULD BE SHEER MADNESS.They have done what they thought fit,GOD sees the truth and HE will do fit. -
rhmagee said on Nov 01, 2006....
PeeDee absolutely correct but then again that would be no longer holding a grudge. Just because "A" is true then "B" must be true, is simply an illogical philosophical conclusion esepecially when "A" does not equal "B". I think its safe to say many people are holding grudges that won't amount to murder. In the above example the grudge was not necessarily the problem. It was the person's coping mechanism. -
momsrock said on Nov 01, 2006....
I generally don't hold a grudge. I have in the past and it just exhausts me! The other person goes on with their life and probably never thinks about it again. So why let it take up any more of my time. That is the first time I have heard about that story. How ridiculous! It certainly isn't worth someone's life!! -
peedee said on Nov 01, 2006....
Hi! rhmagee,yes absolutely correct that it would be no longer holding a grudge because blood relations are involved and the moment we come face to face that is hoodwinked. The appearances may be deceptive but the grudge lies deep buried in the heart and mind. -
Lioness said on Nov 01, 2006....
You are right momsrock, the person holding the grudge is at the losing end simply because he gets himself affected by things that might not even matter to the person anymore. Grudges eat you up like termites, and the more you harbor it, the more it affects you.
-
MsStar39 said on Nov 02, 2006....
I want to think everyone that has commented on how long do you hold a grudge? After writingthis post I was unable to read any of the comment's, I finally found out that it was the IE browser
that was the problem, I also use firefox and when I logged in under firefox the comments didn't
disappear. I am so happy to finally be able to read all of the wonderful comments made.
I think that any one that holds a grudge for 30 years and finally commit murder as revenge has a
screw loose somewhere.To bad they didn't find out about it before she committed such a heinous crime.
-
ipmat said on Mar 04, 2009....
i am like an elephant seldom forgive nor forget -
MsStar39 said on Mar 04, 2009....
ipmat, it is always best to forgive, why poison your body by holding on
to something that has happened years ago. (Hi Tampi)
-
blueraven6 said on Jul 25, 2009....
A perfect revenge story, and why I leave it to HIM.
For a short time, I was a practicing Monk.
One day, I discovered an old document in the Library which I wanted to make public, and asked permission of the Abbott.
He drove me off in the middle of the Mojave desert, and left me there to die. True Story.
Without God's help, I wouldn't be alive today, so I always leave it to him
Two years later, a forest fire came through behind high winds in the middle of the night, and the Monastery was burned to the ground, with the Abbott.
As we used to say in the military: "Payback is a Mother Fucker!"
Oh, yeah! High fives to God!
blueraven6
[True story. No joke this time!]
-
MsStar39 said on Jul 25, 2009....
True faith Blue.
Comment on "How long do you hold a Grudge?"
Related Posts:
jebusiamnt665
posted 5 days ago
| views: 51
|
I wear this crown of shitUpon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here... read entire post
sexconfessions69
posted 4 days ago
| views: 14
|
A personal journal entry about a sexual harassment case against a co-worker who had released pornographic images of me at work.... read entire post
Fallyn
posted on Nov 07, 2009
| views: 71
|
i had a very interesting conversation today.....all about the astrological signs and everything.... not sure i totally buy it.... but it brought up very very good points.
the boyfriend and i are very very compatible when it come... read entire post
jebusiamnt665
posted on Nov 03, 2009
| views: 46
|
*curls up into a ball and tries to shake away the pain*... read entire post