The sad reality, my darlings, is that we are ALL dying. Even if it’s going to happen decades from now, in the grand scheme of things that is still just ‘around the corner’, and it’s going to feel that way when the time comes too. There are things I think about that happened years ago that can affect me in a way where you’d think it only happened yesterday. Such is life. And that is why we need to consider these things (ie death) when we make life decisions.
Occasional I get flickers light on my reality. And let me tell you, it’s not pretty. And I want out. And I’m not sure if a retirement plan is going to cut it, because 1) I’m not sure I want to wait that long to be relaxed and happy, and 2) I’m not sure I’m going to live to see that. Every time I see a sad lonely man on the subway or on the street, I can’t help but think of the colossal tragedy – he lived his whole life, all these years, only to end up like this. It’s so awful to think of even the possibility of wasting one’s life. This is your LIFE we’re talking about – how has it become at all acceptable to spend 80% of it generating revenue for a large corporation? Just because everyone does it doesn’t mean it’s normal. More than that, it’s important to remember that everyone in the world DOESN’T do that… it just so happens that we live in a big North American city and our surroundings lead us to believe that is what one does as a responsible adult.
I guess I just don’t understand why most of my time is not my own. Is the price of food and shelter really equivalent to 10 hours of my day, every day? (Maybe not, but the price of a new Cartier watch might be – dammit – that capitalist materialist in me just won’t die!). Anyway, you see my point…
I find myself surrounded by people who are chronically dissatisfied with the way things are. Which is ironic because they are also the same people who are amongst the world’s most privileged. Something is not right. And maybe packing up and heading off to an unknown island to sell popsicles is a bit of an extreme response, but maybe that’s the kind of jolt one needs. Or maybe it’s just the first step in finding the right balance. Either way, it’s something. And something is better than nothing – especially when the consequences of ‘nothing’ will eventually be to find ourselves 65 and at our retirement party, with no idea of what we’ve just spent our whole entire lives doing and no hopes of turning back the clock.
I’m very nervous for us.
