as adults, we generally try to control our negative emotions by avoiding them. our addictions can be used to silence the painful cries of our feelings and unfulfilled needs. after a glass of wine or two, perhaps a bottle or so.. the pain is gone for a moment. but it will come back again.. and again.. and again. till you're drowned and addicted to it.

ironically, the very act of avoiding our negative emotions gives them the power to control our lives. by learning to listen to and nurture our inner emotions, they gradually lose their grip.

when you are very upset, it certainly is not possible to communicate as effectively as you want to. at such times the unresolved feelings of your past have come back. it is as though the child that was never allowed to throw a tantrum, now throws one.. only to be exiled once again into the closet.

our unresolved childhood emotions have the power to control us by gripping our adult awareness and preventing loving communication. until we are able lovingly to listen to these seemingly irrational feelings from our past which seem to intrude into our life when we most need our sanity, they will obstruct our loving communication.

communicating our difficult feelings lies in having the wisdom and the commitment to express our negative feelings in writing, as what i've said in "the power of intimacy" so that we can become aware of our more positive feelings. the more we are able to communicate to our partners with the love that they deserve, the better our relationships will be. when you are able to share your upset feelings in a loving way, it becomes much easier for your partner to support you in return.

don't silence your negative emotions through addiction.. just BRING IT ON to the world! you'll see..