It’s finally here. I know you’ve probably been like me and have been waiting with baited breath for this time of year. You look forward to those days and nights watching the competition. Watching them men in padding smashing into each other is a traditional part of this time of year. You’ve probably been counting down the minutes until this time of season finally gets here. You look forward to watching the games. You look forward to the competition. You like the uniforms and the helmets. I am talking, of course, about the start of hockey season.

At least, I am pretty sure the hockey season has started again. Nobody around here talks about it much. I am not even sure Chicago still has an NHL team. I am not even sure if the NHL still exists anymore. Didn’t they close down a few years ago or something? I forget. However, I seem to recall there being a moment at the very end of a newscast at some point about how the season had started you. You know the point in the newscast when the wacky sports guy ends his part and turns it back over to the anchors.

“That’s right Warner and Allison and Brian Urlacher says the rash should be cleared up in a few weeks. Gosh, I wonder what cream he was prescribed, huh? Oh, yeah, and the Blackhawks played tonight or something.”

Like most Americans the entire NHL could vanish in the Bermuda Triangle and I doubt I would notice. Most Americans follow hockey about as much as most Americans know where China is these days. More people are probably concerned about World Cup Soccer in this country than worry about what hockey teams are doing what.

A few years back the NHL had a lock-out or a strike or something. You know, they covered it in some newspapers and on some newscasts. More than likely if you heard it mentioned it at all it was late at night on the all-sports talk radio stations.

Have you ever run into one of those diehard hockey fans? I have. In fact one of them is my best friend. The funny thing is that even he isn’t as much of a fanatic as he once was. At one time this man would TiVo every hockey game there was and every sports show related to hockey and watch it over and over again. I have had to endure many times sitting there as he slowly reviewed some play over and over again in slow motion.

I knew another guy in high school who had an obsession with hockey. Like a lot of people with that obsession he also believed he could play the game. You ever see those celebrities who love hockey? Guys like Michael J. Fox and Luke Perry who end up playing in those charity hockey games that end up covered on television shows like “Access Hollywood” or “Entertainment Tonight.” Mike Meyers is usually involved in some way and talking a lot about Gordy Howe. Hockey people like to talk about Gordy Howe a lot. Anyway, this guy in high school was so convinced he could play hockey he used to practice signing his signature. When asked why he stated he was practicing writing his autograph.

There was a time in Chicago when hockey was a big deal. This was back in the 50s or 60s. You know, back when Bobby Hull was playing. The Blackhawks actually won a Stanley Cup against Detroit back then and the city just about came to a standstill.

There was a time when hockey was even big in my family. My grandmother worked for the guy who owned the team and she used to be able to get tickets. My family and I went a lot. My memories of that were of a very loud and raucous crowd and of a group of drunken men singing “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” loudly one time.

Hockey fans can be very pretentious. In a way they are a lot like TiVo users. They act like their sport is the only one that should be allowed to be played legally. I have known hockey fans who also believe the players of hockey games somehow are the most pure and perfect athletes in the world. I am not inclined to agree about this. Most hockey players I have seen on television tend to sound very Canadian which automatically makes them suspect as far as I am concerned.

Seriously, they are a bunch of guys wearing ice skates. They try to butch up the skates as much as possible by making them thicker and tougher-looking than the ice skates a figure-skater would use but really it’s the same device. You can try to butch up a loufa as much as you want but it’s still a loufa.

Of course there are big tough guys in hockey whose sole job it is to hit other people and knock them on their behinds. They call these people “enforcers” like they’re part of the mob. They look big and tough when you line them up against other hockey players but you put one of these guys up against the average football player and you being to see the difference. You suddenly understand why those guys ended up playing on ice while the big muscular guys were playing a real sport on the football field.

Hey, even Canada has football. Of course they had to Canadian-ize the damn thing, but it is still football. On the other hand that may not be a good example because you know who played and played well in the CFL? The “Rock” and Doug Flutie? Remember Doug Flutie? He was tiny enough to fit in my pocket. He made those enforcer hockey players look really huge.

In Chicago the hockey team is generally covered somewhere near the back of sports section in the paper. It’s rarely mentioned at all on the evening news. I am willing to bet you that if the entire team were to burst into flames on the ice the local news wouldn’t know where they were playing.

Of course, here in Chicago we are in the midst of a football craze. Then again, during years when the Bears looked like they were going to lose every game they played this city still cared more about football than hockey. Then came the Bulls and basketball. Then comes the Arena football team and then the Major League Soccer team and their new stadium. Then, if there’s time, you might find someone talking about the Blackhawks.

I am so glad it’s the start of, um, whatsis season again. Aren’t you?


Bryan W. Alaspa’s new novel Dust is now available on his website www.bryanalaspa.com and www.amazon.com.