My dad has this joke that I'll never bear him white grandchildren. The funny thing is, he's probably right. When asked about interracial dating, I usually respond with "I don't think it's a problem; frankly, I prefer it." And I do.

In the dating circuit, I tend to prefer African-American or Asian women. But I must emphasize that it's a preference, not a prerequisite. My most recent ex-girlfriend just happened to be a black woman. Would I have dated her if she were white? Honestly, I don't know. I doubt that I would've, frankly. I just don't have that much interest in white women.

Recently, I've been exploring this phenomenon. I haven't thought too much about it until I went through a bit of spontaneous self-reflection. Am I catering to some kind of ulterior motive within myself? Am I trying to accomplish some kind of one-up on the rest of the world? Am I making an attempt to broadcast some kind of social message through my relationships? No. No. And no... well, maybe.

Last month, there was this film festival at a nearby community center. A few of those films posed questions about ethnic identity, and what accounts for the dwindling sense of diversity in urban America. The first film talked about many white guys' fixation for Asian women; the film's message basically said that there's a different kind of racism about. Some men may see women of different ethnicities as "flavors" rather than individual people with individual identities. The question I posed upon myself asked whether or not I was one of these people. Then, after much thought, I've decided to protest it. I question the validity of this inquiry by simply replying "I won't date anyone JUST on the basis of race." It's a factor, definitely. But not the sole factor.

I oftentimes say I don't like to date white women (I feel I must repeat that this is a loosely generalized statement), but since when was it a bad thing to have preferences? Saying I prefer not to date white women is like saying someone doesn't like to go out with anyone who smokes, has tattoos or doesn't like certain hobbies. Homosexual men aren't attracted to women. Homosexual women aren't attracted to men. There's no questioning why the opposite sex isn't an option; it's because they're not of heterosexual orientation. What it boils down to is that everyone has preferences. Some peoples' preferences are more rigid than others. Some people would prefer not to date someone outside his/her race, but there are people who would outright refuse to do so. Preferences help people to get an idea of who (s)he wants in a mate, his or her exclusive idea of a perfect (though I hesitate to say "perfect") mate. It's when these preferences are so extremely rigid that there's no chance the person will explore beyond them the problem arises. Even in that case, the detriment will always fall on the person holding those standards.

The argument I'm making is that a person's dating preferences are just that-- preferences. There's nothing outwardly wrong with limiting a person's choices in the dating circuit. Even if a person's tastes severely limit his/her choices, that's simply the person's problem. So I think the argument that women of different nationalitites are seen as "flavors" is a bit of a loaded statement. What do you think?