My friend Pat and I went to a Romance Party last night.
It's that kind of party in which the hostess shows you those very special kind of items you might be too shy to buy in a store.
Forget about the Avon thing, ladies.
I am talking about sex, here ...
What better thing to do when you dont' have a date Friday night, your daughter is away spending the weekend with your ex husband, you already walked and fed your dog and there is nothing to watch in tv?
I didn't even need to put on my best dress......
So when Pat called me and asked me if i was interested, she didnt want go alone, i said yes in blink of an eye.
The party was at the house of one of Pat's friend. When we arrived there were alreday other 8 women there. We were introduced to each other and started to talk about basically nothing.
There were drinks and chips, small appetizers, olives and crackers, some cheese.
Pat knew some of the women. I never met anyone. So i sat down and chatted with the first one that sat close to me. Our host clapped her hands loudly at one point and smiling told us that the party were about to start. So she went to another room and came back with a large suitcase.
Good, i thought, here we go...
Immediately all the women started giggling, thrilling, grasping their glasses, grabbing the crackers. It was funny.
The excitment's waves hit everybody. I sat on the edge of my chair, crossing my legs. I was kind of impatient now...
The hostess kept smiling explaining that all we had to do was taste any sample and write down in the paper she was passing on the number of the item and the quantity.
Ok ok, i thought, come on, open that freaking case, lady...
And thats what she did.
Inside there were bottles of any shape and color: lotion, body cream, intime soap, shower gel.
I didnt really care for those....i had mine at home already.
My attention got caught by some edible underwear though, a pair of edible thong too cute to pass on.
They were chocolate flavored. Man, what would i need more?
I wrote down my size and the item number.
Damn, i dont even have a man to wear them for....Well, for the next one, i decided. Quantity? One, no lets make 3, i said to msyelf...be optimistic.
The other girls were going nuts over these products.... there were long stocking also flavored: strawberry and chocolate. Really, chocolate is the most popular flavor connected with sex...this proves my theory...
But i immediately noticed that something was missing.
I look further inside the suitcase...just bottle and powder boxes, and lipstick sublty reminding of a cock, and makeup with a sexy name but ...where were the big babies?
I mean, the Weapons of mass destruction, the Mothers of all the sexy parties, where were the va-va-voom and the ooplah?
I looked up at my hostess...she was busy as a bee gathering the orders, explaining the use of no so misterious objects like a back scratching with a pink handle. The other women were at the peak of their excitment: they lined up on the glass table all the products.
Erosbodyglide, lubricant, warming liquid, Astroglide strawberry flavored, climas fur bombons, liquid silk.....any kind of gel. Catalog from different companies were scattered....a cornucopia but.....where were my toys? ...where were the honeypots?
Nothing. Nada. Niente. No uno. Niet. Zero.
There was not a single vibrator in that damn suitcase.
I felt cheated.
Oh, come on, lady, a Romance party?
What the heck is this? An elementary school reunion?
I want my toys. I set my mind to have some fun tonight and at least, i say, at least i would like to see one of them..weigh them in my hand, and compare them, hear the one with the softest buzz, pass my finger on top of the silkiest one...stuff like this.....hat a girl has to do to have some fun?
I felt like somebody had waved in front on my nose a lottery ticket and all i could get was a gift certificate at Wal Mart.... .
My friend Pat seemed obnoxious about it.
"Where are the toys?" i asked her whispering
She said "Uh?"
"I mean, where is the other stuff?"
"What other stuff?" she sked me back and she smeared my wrist with a cream of almond and orange. I don't like it, i was going to tell her when our host got up and in the misdt of that uuh and ahhh she announced the moment of the surprise.
Allright, i thought, here we are. The party is finally starting. i felt relieved.
While the hostess went in the other room i anticipated the giggling going even higher in volume to the sight of .......
...a cake?
The surprise of the Romance Party was a cake?
You got to be kidding me, i thought.
But there it was, a nice, round white iced cake with a pink heart in the middle.
That vanished in 5 minutes. Those women were really hungry for some sweet......
And what the heck, i ate it too.
When we were driving home i felt like a kid coming back from grandma with only an apple in the pocket. I got 3 pair of edible chocolate flavored thongs, after all.
"Well, Pat, did you like it??"
"Yes, i had fun and i ordered $75 of body lotion and shower gel".
That you could have bought at Bath and Body, and maybe at a cheaper price, I thought. But i didn't say it. She had been so nice to invite me...
She dropped me home and drove away.
Great, now i smell like a strip dancer and i dont even have anybody who will smell me and eat my panties....
Thank greatness, there is internet.
So i went online and surfed looking for sexy toys. And sure it is, i found them.
Now i am pondering the purchase of an Impusle Jack Rabbit. But i have to found it at a cheaper price.....it cost too much....
Oh, i closed my lonely night here on Soul Cast.....at least i had a lot of emotional orgasms. For free.
gingersoul posted on Oct 07, 2006
| views: 595
Comments
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gingersoul said on Oct 07, 2006....
I like that...anti-climatic.....LOL
Yep, this is the only consolation i got from that party...my little weapons of mass destruction, meaning that 3 chocolate flavored thongs that are now nicely folded in my drawer...
I was thinking if i shouldn't have complain directly with the host...so she will not wind up in too high epectations her future customers...
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CreativeWoman said on Oct 07, 2006....
I was at a lingerie party once. It was anti-climatic too. I was much curvier than the itty bitty sizes they offered. I ended up buying something out of guilt that didn't fit properly. I didn't feel sexy at all when I wore it.
Would you believe with all of my sex talk, that I don't have a vibrator?
CW
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secretlife said on Oct 07, 2006....
CW: me either! LMAO
i've had them in the past a few times.
i've never been real good with toys.
my husband has actually brought home a few.
he bought a dildo home once that was about twice his size both in length and girth......and i discovered i had an allergy to latex or whatever it was made from! That wasn't too funny...
He brought home a butt plug a few years ago.
I made a deal with him about that-
I told him he could use it on me if i could use it on him-
i haven't seen it since!
Ginger: I've never been to one of those parties. I've been to jewelry parties, candle parties and of course the almost too exciting to bear tupperware parties...
i suppose now i'm gonna have to go look up what exactly an 'impulse jack rabbit' is?
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gingersoul said on Oct 08, 2006....
CW and Secret,
oh ....this Impulse jack rabbit is incredible...its the new version of the old Jack Rabbit that was very popular years ago.
The one i saw is pink with a lot of different speed and very, very quiet.
I have to think about this too...living with my daughter in this small apartment...and i dont want to wake up the dog either.......LOL
My husband bought me a dildo/vibrator many years ago.
First of all it was very noisy, second it was ugly... i mean the color was this sick pink...yak...
Curious, it was big too, like yours...
uhmmm, wonder why these men wanted introduce their wives to a bigger version of their own penis...i would't do it if i were a man.....what if she likes it better than the real thing?
Then he brought home a pair of real handcuff (he was working in security patrol)...that were really sexy...we used them a lot.......And several sexy lingerie too....
he must have gone to a different party than mine...LOL
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silverwhisper said on Oct 08, 2006....
GS: how do you have a party like that and have no sex toys? WTF?!
OK, now that i'm done repeating the same thing you already said...maybe pat wasn't sure how well that would go over?
i know of women who swear by their rabbits. :>
re: toys bigger than we are--we know that no sane woman would rather have latex/silicone/glass over flesh and blood. the size compensates for being fake. :>
CW: you know, having a sex toy might help take the edge off now & again.
SL: wait a sec, that would mean you also have an allergy to condoms, wouldn't it?
ed
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secretlife said on Oct 08, 2006....
Sweet- different party LOL!
ed - hey i never thought about that- i use condoms on occassion - and have between my kids as birth control, as i suppose i can't be allergic to latex. That dildo was hmmm...i want to say somewhere between 1st and 2nd kid- so that means it couldn't have been latex. Whatever it was, i was fine while he was assaulting me (it felt like an assault, sorry) but the next morning and for a few days after, i'd be a mess. Itching, swelling, general 'don't come near this place' feeling....
After the 3rd time I made the connection between use of it and misery, and i threw it out.
Maybe it was some other plastic?
Hey girls lets all get one of those bunnies and compare notes, what'd ya say???
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momsrock said on Oct 08, 2006....
I'm with you, I would have been disappointed! I recently went to an adult store and found absolutely nothing that I could use.
I have actually thought about having one of these parties, so I'm glad you posted this before I agreed to have one!!
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silverwhisper said on Oct 08, 2006....
SL: well, so long as you don't have that problem w/ condoms, i guess that's the difference. maybe it was made of cheap plastic or something?
btw: they do make glass sex toys. you might wanna investigate 'em. :D
momsrock: nothing?! goodness, what were you looking for?
ed
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gingersoul said on Oct 08, 2006....
Silver....IOIKI...if only i knew it!
Believe me, i would have gone only for the cake....i mean, the real one. It was pretty good i have to say...LOL
About the size....i think it has to do also with the fact that men sometimes are obnoxious of the fact that their tools are inappropriate.
We women sometimes dont tell...and they keep going thinking to be this big-hard-dick Casanova guy...who they are NOT!
I give you a recent example, the only one in my love life that applies here, i have to say....i have alwasy been very lucky with my men....not because of huge dimensions but because they were the right ones for me and most of all they knew how to use them.
Ok, my last bf, in dept size was small. Or at least he was small compared to my previous ones.
I thought, ok, even if he has a small penis he can always use it in the right way. Nahh, wrong again. The only way for me to feel some pleasure was being on top. Now, i dont have anything against this positon, i love it BUT.... always?
Any single session me on top?
I got bored.
But he was big in fantasy dept. Bonding, soffucating, tying, sexy wrestling..stuff like that,
Good, very good but while i was praising him for these qualities i never told him he was too small for me.
Therefore, i think a lot of men out there dont' have a clue because we women dont tell them.
Should i have told him?
And, yes i saw those glass toys....but they strike like kind of cold....i think they are easier to clean though...
Secret...thats a great idea! WE can keep us posted about new discoveries, price, color, qualities....
Moms and CW are you in too?
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lioneljay said on Oct 08, 2006....
GS, this must have been quite a disappointment to you but it sounds like you found a way to compensate when you got home.
Glass conducts heat fairly well, so it warms up when it's inside. It also can be warmed in a microwave (just a few seconds or it will get oo hot) or even placed in a refrigerator or freezer for an entirely different experience.
Here is a link to a place that sells good quality glass toys at very reasonable prices. Their service is excellent and the toy that I bought felt just fabulous in the hand (it wasn't for me) and I'm told that it is quite wonderful when it's inserted.
Glass Fantasy
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secretlife said on Oct 08, 2006....
Look how pretty these are ---->http://glassfantasy.com/glass-vibrators/detail/IItd57v/!
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gingersoul said on Oct 08, 2006....
Lionel...yes, it has been a bummer....but at least i had my panties and the cake....
Never thought of putting them in the microwave.....nice tip...you are a source of continous knowlegde.....LOL
Secret....oh, they are cute! Love than one with beads....and the colors.....
I am going to better browse this site later on....i will report dutifully.... ;-P
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satyr said on Oct 08, 2006....
ginger - what a bummer of a party - glad you got your panties and cake at any rate - LOL
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sweetsoul said on Oct 08, 2006....
God I'd have been disappointed too. Guess their definition of romance excludes sex! And frankly they're loosing out on a lucrative business. The sex toys are worth more so their commission would be more as well.
I can't say that I have no sex toys...well not and tell the truth. :) I've been building a collection for a while. Luckily I've got a couple of favourite sex shops in town that I frequent...in addition to the occasional visit when on holidays...or purchase from the internet. Oh and let's not forget the occasional gift. *no let's definitely not*
I'll vouch for those pretty glass sex toys...*LJ thanks for the link*...I've got one...it's gorgeous as well as wonderfully useful.
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gingersoul said on Oct 08, 2006....
Satyr.......let me tell you......those panties better be used as soon as possible....LOL
Sweetsoul....so glad to see you around again... :-)
So......you have a little collection, eh?
Do you suggest the glas ones like lionel?
Secret and i are in a kind of sexy hunting right now..but being my finance tight i wil have to look really good for the best combination of quality and price....wish us luck! LOL
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sweetsoul said on Oct 08, 2006....
hey I'm a sexual being :D
Truthfully I was always leery about a glass toy. Not sure I would have bought one...but having one...it really is gorgeous...and fun...so yes I'd recommend them...not necessarily as a first time sex toy though.
Watch what you buy...you don't have to spend lots and lots but up to a point, you do get what you pay for.
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satyr said on Oct 08, 2006....
hey, SS - rightfully so - it costs more to make those big ones ;-)
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momsrock said on Dec 09, 2007....
lol..."now I don't have anyone to smell me or eat my panties!" You know, they did have a sex attractant that you might have been able to splash on and wander around the neighborhood....to see who might follow you home?? But I tried it and people just thought I was weird when I introduced myself and then asked them to smell me....lol
This party did have a few of the things that were lacking at yours...but not anything really worth purchasing so I think you would have been just as disappointed...they did have one with a giant suction cup on the bottom so you could attach it to the washing machine though...i actually thought about that one for a minute or two....but it was a little limp....:)
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BigDan7 said on Dec 31, 2008....
Well momsrock if you lived in oklahoma I would like to sample the taste of the pasnties hehehe I have never eaten panties but I have what they cover. I had a friend that did those type parties and she had a complete line (I gave her the money to get in the business) . She sold more toys than anything else. This is a fun bloge I enjoyed you ladies viewpoint. -
gingersoul said on Dec 31, 2008....
BigDan....wow....you resurrected a very old post....lol....
I was surprised to see it popping out in My Conversation tab......
Glad you liked it.....unfortunately...Momsrock left Soulcats last year.....and she is missed dearly....
Happy New Year...:-)
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BigDan7 said on Dec 31, 2008....
I just stumbled on it and thought what a great opportunity to flirt so I am now flirting with you which reading your post is a fun thing to do also. Happy new year to you also and hope you have found the toys and langerie that make you look hot and sexy.
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