hmm.. been a while since i've posted something... it's this damned desktop...!! =( it runs SOOOOOOOO slowly!! it even won't show some webpages (sometimes even soulcast)... i don't know what to do about this anymore... =( my notebook's fuse got toasted for some reason... =(
anyway....
my ex, my first boyfriend, paid me a visit last night. he desperately needed someone to talk to... he has this problem with his current girl, so he comes to me to talk about it, and to ask for advice...
i find it really ironic that he confides the happenings in his relationship(s) in me, and still tells me that he will never ever marry unless it's me he's going to marry... hmm....
so, let's say he's actually serious about this, does this mean he's just courting ang getting into relationships with other girls just to pass the time...? just to have his mind (and possibly heart) occupied for the time being?
SCM
SoulCastMistress posted on Oct 01, 2006
| views: 492
Comments
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SoulCastMistress said on Oct 01, 2006....
penmaster: lol.. i just wanted to rant about my immaculately slow running PC.. =)
about my ex, i know him well... he doesn't juggle two (or more) girls at the same time, but he tells me everytime he has a new one.
i think he has an affection for this girl he's seeing now, deeper affection than what he felt to those prior to her... but i doubt it if it's love...
he's a very sweet guy. and to be honest, i didn't see him fall in love with someone since we broke up.
i think he's afraid to be alone... coz he jumps from one relationship to another.
btw, he constantly reminds me that he'll marry only me. he even tells me his plans... and his family even knows this.
=) i have an affection for him... like a very special friend. i think of him as someone who's better that a bastfriend,but not a boyfriend...
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SoulCastMistress said on Oct 01, 2006....
oopsie!! i meant BESTFRIEND, not bastfriend...
typo!!!
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Jenna said on Oct 01, 2006....
Were you the one who broke things off?
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SoulCastMistress said on Oct 01, 2006....
jenna: yes... i was the one who broke things off.
it was 6 years ago already...
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Jenna said on Oct 01, 2006....
Wow, six years...it sounds to me that he is still in love with you. Sounds like he is trying to move on, but just can't seem to. How about you? Have you moved on?
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hotaka said on Oct 01, 2006....
It seems a bit weird to me. I can't imagine trying to give love and build a relationship with someone if I really wanted to be with someone else. I can love more than one person but I can be in love with only one at a time. If I loved someone who wouldn't be with me I couldn't date others. I would feel dishonest with myself and to the person I was courting.
Ooh, courting! Sounds so old fashioned.
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SoulCastMistress said on Oct 01, 2006....
Jenna: i know he's trying to move on... and i guess i know he's not doing so good at it..
maybe it's because i was his first serious girlfriend (he was my first as well), or maybe i changed him a bit.
he claims that if he ever finds someone just like me (which, i know is impossible), he'll give up the idea of marrying me.
as for me, well, i can say i've moved on... i've been i a serious relationship (5 years), which ended just 6 months ago. but i'm fine... i'm finding out that being single is a blessing and a bliss, i would say. =)
still, he still have this special place in my heart. but marrying him is something i don't see in my future. however, in fairness to him, he'll make quite a fine husband someday.
hotaka: first, let me first say that i love the first installment about your love story. =)
you're such a gentleman... the thought of a man who refuses to date others if the one he likes wouldn't want to be with him makes me think twice about men. lol.
anyway, i know men who do court and get together with other girls if their love don't want them... sad...
and he's not courting me, hotaka... he just tells me that it's me he'll be marrying someday. like a statement. it seems like he doesn't care if i agree or not... sometimes, he'll tell my little sis that he'd kidnap me if i refuse to marry him. weird.
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hotaka said on Oct 01, 2006....
SCM, every gentleman has his dark side. Mine may be revealed someday.
Sorry, I was not clear. I meant that he was courting others, not you. In my comment I meant that I would feel dishonest to the other woman I would be courting, making her think I was interested in developing a relationship with her when actually I had another woman I hoped to spend my life with.
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SoulCastMistress said on Oct 01, 2006....
hotaka: lol. maybe so... but i hope the good will still outweight the dark side of you... =)
sorry, too... i misunderstood... lol. i must agree with you with this one... it really is unfair to the one a man is dating if he deep inside, he has offered his heart to someone else already...
btw, may i know where you're from? =) tnx!!
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SoulCastMistress said on Oct 01, 2006....
penmaster: yes, he knows that i consider him as a friend and nothing more...
he's just too stubborn... either that, or he's really going to kidnap me to marry him. lol.
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gingersoul said on Oct 01, 2006....
SCM.......or he is still so into you he doesn't even know ihow much or he is simply playing with his and yours and other girls feelings...
You are the one who has to give this game a direction....
you said you know he still cares for you, but do you care for him?
If not, let him go because maybe its your openess and gentleness and availabilty to listen and advice that makes him coming back to you and hope.
He cant' seriously give any other relationship a chance if you don't make it clear with a shred of doubt that YOU are not in this game...
The one who doesn't love has to let the other one free.
its a harsh law...but the only one who works...
You two can always be friends later on.....now his feelings are too mixed...
Hotaka.....i too can't wait to read about your dark side now....
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SoulCastMistress said on Oct 01, 2006....
gingersoul: in a way, i do care for him, like a brother or a very close friend.
he knows that it is only friendship i can give him, nothing more. i have told him this many time already... i even ignored him at some point (many points. lol), totally gave him the cold shoulder... but he still befriends me.
first i tell him i won't be his friend again coz he tends to tell me things later, but he promises he won't, so i give him a chance... until now i warn him if he gets too close to me emotionallly, i keep him at bay...
i did, and i still am letting him go... but it seems the bird i so want fly away keeps coming back to me... or is it really?
hotaka: lol. yes, ang ganda ko, feel na feel ang long hair ko... haha!!
i pity him as well, and i tell him this... and he tells me he pities himself as well, it's all my fault, he says... i should have never been "me" so he didn't fall for me... duh.?! lol.
it will definitely make his life a mess... to think that he even brings his girlfriends here and introduces them to me..!
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SoulCastMistress said on Oct 01, 2006....
penmaster: sorry!! lol... i realized that right after i sbnitted the comment... =) so sorry...
antok pa cguro aq kanina... =) ang lamig kc eh... ansarap pang matulog... lol.
thanks... =) i'm actually becoming suplada to him... just so he'll leave me alone... or at least forget any notions of marrying me... lol. i guss he knows me too well to know that i'm just putting that mask on...
anyway, i hope he comes to his senses and realize that i reall am serious when i told him there's nothing more i can offer him but friendship.
hmp! the things you have to do to set things right... i think i may be too cold-hearted already!! =(
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sigroid75 said on Oct 01, 2006....
i also find that weird, but i've heard of people
in quite the same predicament. they love someone
else but they are in a relationship with someone else.
i have this admirer during my elementary years who
said he always loved me. in high school, he courted me
again. he had a girlfriend, a friend of mine, but was told
it was only a game.
then when i was already working, that would be around
16 years ago or so...he called me again, asking if
we could hook up and go out,etc...geez...i never liked
him before, and certainly not now...but i guess, there
are people that we can't stop loving, no?
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Allison said on Oct 01, 2006....
Do you till love him? It could be that dating other girls is just his way of showing you he is still desirable.They do that some times.I give you props though,I don't think that I could be friends with my ex,or talk about his present relationships.
You got some strength...
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SoulCastMistress said on Oct 02, 2006....
sigroid75: ang haba ng hair natin, 'noh? haha!!
i've been in this predicament many times already, and still am, with a couple of different guys. some guys just don't get it if you say "NO"...
i could have answered your comment right after you post it, but the power went out!! grrrr!!! damn typhoons!!!
Allison: well, in fairness to him, he IS desirable. =) tall, kinda dark, and handsome... really!! he reminds of richard gere when he smiles... his eyes get really chinito.. lol. not to mention he's really sweet and caring...
lucky is the girl who'll capture his heart.
love him? yes... in a brotherly way. i mean, i care for him, but i just don't see him in a romantic light anymore...
strength maybe i do have... lol. i only have two exes, and both of them are good friends... i am also friends with those i dumped... lol. it makes my life easier somehow...
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hotaka said on Oct 03, 2006....
Are we doing everything in Italics now?
SoulCastMistress, I am from Canada, with parents from Denmark, and living in Japan. I am sorry but I can'T read everything you write. Is it another language or a type of creole?
gingersoul, thanks for your interest but I am still too ashamed of my dark side to even reveal it here on SC. Amidst the truths I write lie hiddens secrets and falicies.
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SoulCastMistress said on Oct 03, 2006....
hotaka: sorry about the italics... i deleted my comment which caused that.. =)
ok, so u're canadian...
sorry about the language too...
ang ganda ko, feel na feel and long hair ko is actually part of a song... it basically sings about how pretty i am... lol. the song is somewhat a joke, but not quite... it was sung by a korean here in the philippines... =)
hmmm... we do all have our dark sides, hotaka... so don't worry...
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zehkelly@yahoo.fr said on Oct 08, 2006....
zehkelly@yahoo.fr je veux une femme
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zehkelly@yahoo.fr said on Oct 08, 2006....
j,ame bien faire ce comentair avec vous
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anonymous said on Oct 28, 2006....
you could seek answers by looking onto his eyes.girl, there are times that men only give excuses only to seek gateways of how to start the picture that they really have on thier stupid minds and hearts.and that picture could be you with him!ask him directly to the point and ask him only a direct answer to the question," what does he really want from you?". who cares if you get an answer that doesn't agree with what your heart's want?gamble your last ego...it is better than standing still on your feet,...goin crazy !!!it might just be you who he really wants...
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