OK, you would think I have enough places that I write...2 blogs, facebook, Twitter...I am all over the internet. But I think I am going to start a personal journal again as well.

Many people think that that is what a blog is, a journal...but I have learned that there is a difference. A blog is out there, you never know who is going to eventually see it. And I have learned my lesson (though it took a few times) that not everything that is going on in my head is suitable to be shared. Inevitably I hurt people, or make them angry with the thoughts that are in my head, Not that these thoughts stay, but many times I will blog about whatever is going through my mind at a particular moment...and a lot of times the thought is gone as soon as I am finished writing it out. Or after a few days reflection on it, I can see reason, and my opinion or frustration is different.

But do my thoughts need to just splattered out for the world to see? Maybe not until I have had sometime to reflect on them personally. Maybe, instead of dashing off a quick blog post when there is something pressing on my mind, if I write it down (to get it off my chest) and reflect privately, I will STOP hurting, offending, or generally pissing people off. Amazing that I am just learning that sometimes it better to keep my mouth shut - and I am pushing 40 years old... (damn that's depressing) The whole thing that brought this on was a 4 page letter, essay, journal entry that I just made...covering a range of things, but focused on one in particular. Writing it helped just like always...but there is actually a sense of peace that I don't have to worry about anyone that reads this taking something the wrong way, or getting offended etc.

I am tired of always pushing people away (ok, some people DO need to be pushed...but those aren't the people I am talking about) Maybe a PRIVATE journal will help me think through my feelings and thoughts and then I can make the determination of what SHOULD be shared...