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My Fairy Tale Weekend

starchini posted on Nov 06, 2009 | views: 60 | Tags: disapointments, hopes, wishes, TAG-O-MATIC

Maybe this weekend Philip will stay home and spend time with Remington and I.

He will beat me home tonight (I cant ever seem to escape with my baby before an hour is spent at my moms) and surprise me with a clean kitchen and the laundry will be cleared from the table and put upstairs. 

I dont even dream of him folding it, I would be overjoyed if it was simply moved from the table to our bedroom. 

Ill come home with a happy Remington and lay my things in the mudroom and be drawn to the kitchen by a wafting smell of shrimp alfredo.  Ill see Phil stirring the sauce and he will smile at me and give me and Remington a kiss.  Ill take a seat and we will banter lovingly about our day until the Alfredo is ready to be devoured.

Maybe Phil will give Remington his dinner before eating his own. 

We will sit on the couch as a family and eat our supper while talking about our goals and dreams and wishes. 

Ill take my sleepy baby upstairs and we will finish the evening with a cuddle and a television show before going to our bedroom for sweet foreplay and sensual love making.

Then maybe when we are awoken at 3 am by Remington's growling tummy.  Maybe just maybe Philip will touch my shoulder as im climbing out of bed and say "Go to sleep babe, I think its my turn".

Then I would awaken on saturday afternoon confused at how I slept so late.  Ill wonder down stairs and find Phil on the floor with Remington.  Phil will tell me he thought I deserved to sleep in..

Ah yes, that would be my dream weekend.

Oh, what will really happen you ask?

Well, ill be lucky if I see Phil for dinner before he must return to work.  Ill take care of Remington and Phil will come home right as im ready for bed.  He will hump the air and ask for a blow job.  Ill say no, we will go to bed.  Ill get up with Remington all through the night and I will get him ready in the morning and Phil will sleep in....bc he works. 

When Phil slinks downstairs at noon he will ask me what is for lunch and if he has any jeans clean.  He will go outside to do whatever it is he does out there in our yard.  Ill get lunch ready and start his laundry and he will come in and we will all eat and he will run off for the rest of the day. 

Yup, thats my "usual"...

And he acts heartbroken when Remington screams when he holds him...

Maybe if he was a little less self absorbed Remington would know who the hell his dad was.

 



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Comments

  • uniquely-ironic said on Nov 06, 2009....
    Sorry Star.  Sounds like you are all having adjustment problems.  Seems as if the last year has been so full of changes that everyone is still trying to figure out what happened.  Have you asked Phillip to take Remy for part of the day so that maybe you could get a nap in?  I'm pretty sure he won't think of that on his own, and if you ask him nicely he will most likely do that.  Remember that you love him.
  • starchini said on Nov 06, 2009....

    I do love him very much and this is why his latest behavior has been really turning me off.  Hes just been so out of character.  Like a different person.  Last night I was listening to him tell me about all the things he has to do at work with despair like it was just so much to handle.  I of course was understanding and nodding alon assuring him he could handle it.  But listening to his list I couldnt help but think how unimpressed I was with his workload.  I mean, it seems normal to me.  Im in my office all day doing a gazillion and one things and I work in the back alongside the "men" on top of it.  I have a very good understanding of what gets done on a daily basis and Phil's work load seemed pretty standard to me.  He is a few days behind on his jobs to be done, he over lapped two of them and it all needs done by wednesday and the phone keeps him from working and he is sidetracked by estimates and trying to keep the floors swept and finish the addition....

    That all seems to mirror what my dad does every single day.  But I was sympathetic and was just hoping Phil would realize that that is life.  Work is hard and you fall behind and everyday is a battle to keep the ship afloat, thats business and he needs to embrace it and not fight it.  He needs to feel good at the end of the day knowing that he worked as hard as he could and the rest will have to wait until tomorrow.  There is a lot of pride to be had after a hard days work.  I get the feeling that instead of pride Phil feels burdened after a hard days work. 

    I just dont really see a solution...bc his work isnt gonna change hes always gonna be behind and hes always gonna get dumped on the second he catches his breath if he gets that chance at all and if having to work hard is what has him down, then he will always be down. 

    Its just not an excuse for him being mentally absent when he is home.  There is no reason I should hear sighs of irritation when I ask him to hold Remi whil I go serve us dinner.  There should be no whining when I ask him to change a diaper.  And when he does change one heaven for bid i ask him to change two in a day.  He says "But I already changed one its your turn!".....As if I havnt changed a thousand to his 14...Hes uninterested in his son, and has no concern for how im doing. 

    I kinda spoke with him about this last night in a much less harsh manner...his response "Im sorry im such a bad husband and dad" as he reached for my boob...

  • wombat said on Nov 06, 2009....

    Maybe lay this all on the line, and swap "dream weekends?"  Maybe not so laid out, but as in,  "We're in this together, and we need to do something.  So maybe we can look at a longer range?"

    This Friday I get to come home and relax a bit, and next Friday night, it's your turn. On the rest of the weekend, we'll share. 

  • Hegemone said on Nov 06, 2009....
    Sorry to hear things aren't going the way you'd like them to be right now Star.  I know it's hard, especially considering you can't just MAKE another person do anything.  With that being said, you can at least talk to them about things and it might influence them to change their ways.  Sort of like what Wombie said, maybe lay some of it out to him in a nice, gentle way so he doesn't feel attacked, or that you're saying what he stresses over isn't important, but so that he gets it that you don't fully understand why it has to be such a big issue for him. Find some kind of compromise maybe, if you can.  I hope that maybe some of your dream weekend begins to come true soon enough.
  • mixednuts said on Nov 07, 2009....
    The baby comes first!
  • starchini said on Nov 07, 2009....
    ah wombie, if it were only that easy.  I shall try, again. 
     
    Hege, its ok, im corssing my fingers that "this too shall pass".
     
    Righto Mixed Nuts, Remington is off in dreamland as I type, happy as can be.
     
     

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