I scheduled Remington a Doctor appointment yesterday. For no real reason, I just wanted him to have a checkup. The Doctor's office made me sound absolutly insane.
"Sure we can make an appointment, whats wrong with him?"
"Oh, nothing, as far as I can tell, but im not a Dr."
"So hes fine?"
"Well yes, I just wanted him to get looked at. Like a physical or something"
"So im making an appointment for..."
"A Physical"
"But hes 5 months old"
"Yes..."
"He will get a 6 month Physical in a few weeks?"
"Listen, I know hes getting his 6 month shots and a checkup in a few weeks, but I would like to make an appointment for a checkup, now, in addition to the 6 month one"
"Alright".
I just found it annoying that she seemed to think I was a lunatic for taking my baby to the Doctor for no reason.
This morning was his appointment.
First he was weighed: 19.8 Pounds
Then Measured: 28'' long
His noggin is 17'' round
Then as the nurse was about to go get the Doctor you wouldnt believe what she said!
She opened his folder and said "So hes getting his 6 month shots today?"
I know she wasnt on the phone with me when I made the appointment but out of frustration at the stupid receptionist for not making proper notes I snapped:
"NO...He is here for a full checkup and physical, the works, NO shots".
She scurried away and got the Doc.
While Remington and I were waiting we made ourselves comfortable. I laid my diaper bag down on the chair and place his pacifier and crunchy parrot on the counter top.
We went over to read the bulletin board and Remington anxiously grabbed the
"Free Hearing Test at the Armory" Newsletter and stuck it in his mouth and threw it in the sink.
I put it back up and disingected our hands with sanitizer.
I put him on the exam table and gave him kisses and rasberries and while he was focused on making confetti out of the crunchy paper on the table.
I let him... : )
He made quite a mess.
Then the doctor came in and interrupted my rendition of amazing grace that had him giggling out loud.
"Do I have to sing too?" The doc said.
I thoroughly explained to him what I wanted out of this appointment and what my main concerns were. He was very understanding.
"He keeps tugging at his ear, maybe its an infection, maybe a teething symptom"
"He felt warm yesterday, take his temperature"
"The corners of his big toes are red and swollen idk why"
"His penis looks like it has a pimple on it, be sure and look at that"
"His butt hole is kinda red"
"look at his throat, and uhh"
"He sounds kinda weezy, maybe congested"
"He coughs a little and his nose gets stuffy"
"His boogers arent clear, kinda yellowy"
"He bumbed his head, right here, check that out"
"and umm....idk....look at him from head to toe, I want proof that he is healthy"
So he began...
Temperature, 99.1, apparently babies run a little warm and that is very normal.
He scrunched his legs up to his chest and rotated his hips, joints are great.
He jabbed a stick down his throat, throat is good.
Listened to his heart, that was good too, 88 beats a min.
Listened to his lungs, little congestion but very normal during teething.
Poked his soft spot, thats good too.
Toes are normal just a little irritation prolly from all his bouncing.
But hole looks great, a little discoloration is normal.
He looked in his ears and eyes and those are all great too.
All the while im asking questions...
Then it was time to look at his penis. The penis pimple was indeed a penis pimple, said there were a couple smaller ones on the underside that I didnt notice and for me to not try and pop them (i already did and was unsuccessful, shhh) that would only irritate it and make it swell (thats exactly what happened when I tried to pop it)...
And for the third time now the Doctor skinned his penis, again! He held the muchroom head and slid the skind on the shaft down, ripping it from underneath the mushroom.
When he said he was gonna "pull the skin away from the tip" I turned my head and closed my eyes and protested "Nooo, you guys have already.." "done"...
I demanded an explanation...
Turns out the reason for this is to allow plenty of room for growth during an erection. When the skin fuses to the head it doesnt allow room to swell and later when he gets erection it can hurt and the skin will be very taught. Basically he wont be able to masterbate properly. And lots of time if this is allowed by the time the kid is in 5 or 6 grade he needs to have another circumcision. That makes sense. Bonus, the more skin available the more potential he has for a great big penis. Yay Remington!
He recommended I get a humidifier for the winter months and to take his temp regularly during flu season.
I explained to him that I was broke and asked for a prescription for a humidifier and a scanning thermometer so that medicaid would pay for it.
I requested a script for the scanning thermometer bc Remi wriggles a lot and I cant take an accurate reading with the one that I have. The scanner one is a gun like one that I can point at him and it tell me his temp. I can also use it to get the temp for his food, bottles and bath water, neat huh?
He understood and wrote me two scripts for those two things, cool.
All in all I was told I have a beautiful healthy baby boy.
