I’ve known little man for close to 5 years. I met him through his friend who I was attracted to, but I couldn’t date either of them because of the age difference, they being 4+ years my junior. I call him little man because not only is he little in stature (translate shorter than my 5’6”, though not necessarily a midget), he also looks every bit of a high school student, and has been mistaken as such. He compensates, as my cousin said, by acting way older than his age.

Even though little man has never come out and said that he wants to date me, nor has he and I had the conversation that friends who want to take it to the next level do, there are times he has acted like my boyfriend by inviting me out to the movies and to dinner and such. He has been as bold as to attempt to kiss me lately during my vulnerable moments. I know that my cousin had told him the reason I don’t want to date him is because he is too young for me, and when he found out he sent me a text message. Instead of nipping it in the bud right then, I called my cousin and asked him what the hell little man and him were talking about.

We’ve gone through phases where we would not communicate for months. Sometimes it’s because we had a “lover’s spat” and other times because life interfered and we got busy. We always seemed to find our way back to each other. No, I still would not date him because he and I are wrong for each other on so many levels.

Little man falls into the category of my male friends who I know would do anything, within reason, for me, and I would go out of my way, within reason, to help them out and that would be the only extent of our relationship. Well, if I may add, I think it is called a black book….only in this case these are men I’d never had any sexual relations with…not for their lack of trying.

The other day when I had a power outage and was scared because it was right after somebody broke into my shed, little man offered to drop by and keep me company, and also brought a bottle of wine. See, he knows my weakness all so well. I rebuffed his attempts to get touchy feely and so he left when the lights came back on. The other day after he invited my cousin and I out, little man wanted to follow me home, and it was after midnight to watch “a movie.” It doesn’t take a genius to figure out his intentions were to make a love scene with me in the starring role.

I invited him out to dinner this Friday since I had a gift certificate to one of his favorite eateries. He jumped all over that and even offered to pick me up, even though it would make more sense for us to meet at the restaurant since it halfway between our places. I nixed that idea and told him we should meet at the restaurant.

In the course of chatting with him online after issuing the invitation, I found out he has been dating somebody for 3 MONTHS! Needless to say it came as a shock because he has been trying to get lucky with me for those three months. I talked with one of my friends and she told me whereas I hang out with him for the ego boost he gives me, apparently he is going out with me for his own reasons. Yes, I can be full of myself sometimes.

I didn’t retract the offer for dinner tomorrow. God knows I owe him for the many times he has been there for me. But given recent developments, it is time to drop the anchor on this one. I will admit since my break up, coupled with my lack of personal friends and depressive tendencies, I have been feeling more than a tad vulnerable and all it would take is right timing for any guy to have his way with me. I am not proud to admit that I am swimming in a sea of alien emotions right now, but at least I do know what situations equate to touching the iron to see if it’s hot…..jumping out of the proverbial frying pan into the fire. This here situation is one of them.