Let me start by beginning with work. I was an assistant manager in retail for over 2 years. I worked hard, gave everything that I had, and it was never enough. I was working between 60 and 70 hours a week, giving up my days off and working way beyond my scheduled time. I missed out on a lot of family things, friend things, and let's face it, I missed out on alone time too. I would go to work, come home and sleep and then go back to work again. Awesome life right? When I wasn't working, I was thinking about work...what wasn't getting done by me not being there. It was a vicious circle.
Cut to me meeting a guy online. We talked online, and decided to meet. Rather quickly in fact but I just had that feeling when I started talking to him. We met, had a great first date and we kept seeing each other after that. I called him several times crying because of work. He was there for me and cared for me, which was something completely different. I liked him, we had a 3 month relationship.
Go back to work. I was so stressed out that my work was beginning to suffer a little bit. I did some heavy thinking, and speaking with my parents, I decided to quit my job and go back to school. So I put my two week notice in, and when I did my manager said she understood that "retail wasn't for everyone". Are you kidding me? It isn't retail that I am not cut out for, it was what the company DOES to their managers that I didn't like. I got prepared to apply for school, did all the requirements and all that fun stuff. Finished up my two week notice and was home free, so to speak.
He was very supportive about it. But for whatever reason, I started to think he wasn't for me. I didn't get the butterflies like I did in the beginning. It got to be too routine. too boring. i couldn't see myself with him for much longer. he was so nice and i felt bad, but i just couldn't do it any more. So I broke up with him.
I started working for another retailer, even though it is only seasonal I LOVE it! I wish I could work there full time. But so far that isn't possible. I am working back at the old retail...at the original store I worked at. I love both aspects. I work about 40 hours combined between the two places, which makes it perfect. And I am able to pay the bills and have just a tad bit of money left over.
So I applied to school, did all what I needed to do. I am waiting for my test results to be officially in so I can officially start classes. I am really looking forward to this next chapter of my life.
Speaking of work...like I said, I love the new job. I love the people, I love the atmosphere, and the management. It is a great place to work. Meanwhile, there is a girl there. She is bi and is incredibly nice. Over time, I have come to realize I have a crush on her. Yes, I can't believe I said that. I can't believe it seems to be true. But my problem is, when I think about actually BEING with her I can't imagine it. I can't even think about it. I don't want to do it. Is this normal? I have no idea. I don't know what all to do. It just seems all weird to me. I have no one to talk to about it. I have never had a crush on a girl before. I have always been into guys. ALWAYS. And I still do. It is just so weird to me.
I don't remember what else I wanted to say. I am a bit tired today, I think I am coming down with a cold or something. blah
