Sometimes I wonder about Philip.
Sometimes I have no clue what is going on in that head of his.
Why he thinks what he does, what makes him adopt his point of view.
How both of us can examine the same situation and come up with opposite solutions.
Mostly he is the biggest pessimist ive ever met.
Usually I like the challenge of converting negative thoughts into good ones. I like to show people the other, more positive side of things. Mostly I simply like to cheer people up.
I like to cheer Phil up.
Lately though, im just tired of it. Hes negativity is getting worse and worse everyday. Someone could hand him a crisp new wrinkle free $5.00 bill. I would say "Awesome!" and he would say "Its not a $10.00 bill, just a $5.00".
Its only fun to cheer someone up when there is a reason for the crabbiness. It just drives me crazy to try to cheer someone up who clearly is choosing to be crabby.
For instance, last night. Phil came home and told me my dad was a tight ass for only wanting to pay his (unemployed) friend $8.00/hr for helping to build our new addition. I of course stated that his friend should be glad to be getting an hourly wage of any amount after all he is unemployed. On top of that my dad would love to pay all of us $40.00/hr, but we are broke and can barely pay the employees we have.
He piped down with a bunch of "Ya, but"'s.
THEN! He was saying how it was stupid to build the addition, its practically just a big closet. There was no time, it would serve no purpose, dad could save money by not doing it and paying us more and blah blah blah...
To that I said, "Its a big closet that you dont have yet and can put all of your stuff in it and save room for cars, hes building this for you bc you keep whining that you wont have enough space when the glass shop moves into the bady shop. We are trying to give you more space, wtf is the matter with you? Why are you so ungreatful? A big closet? Jesus, its a 30'x10 area that can hold a ton of supplies instead of hanging on the walls"...
He got very defensive after I told him that, understandable, I did snap a little...
Point is, nothing makes Phil happy these days. Everything is a burden, stupid, not good enough, unrealistic. Ive tried and tried and tried to get him to look toward the sun, but he refuses, he insists on staying in the dark.
I ask him "whats wrong? why do you look like your mom just died?"
he says "idk, just do".
As he continues to sulk around the house...
Its annoying me a great deal and im almost to my breaking point.
Im a very positive light hearted person.
For crying outloud, last night I paid all of our bills and had to use our visa on some of them, when it was all said and done we were left with $48.00 to live on for the next 2 weeks....My first thought after I saw my calculation :
"That sucks, ah well, next paychecks will be better"
Then I flew into a panic about what I was going to tell Mr. Negativity...how was I gonna spin this to prevent him from going columbine on the lot of us?
He walked in and I told him "Ummm, your not gonna like this, but there was no other way"
"oh gawd, what now?"
"Well, we are going to have to live on our credit card this pay period, I paid our bills and we only have $40.00 left..."
"Figures..." *as he wondered into the family room and melted into the couch*
*in my peppiest vioce i could muster* "Dont worry, the cerdit card isnt maxed out yet, we still have $200.00 on it"
*sarcasm* "awesome..."
He didnt talk much to me the rest of the night...didnt bother me much, i didnt really wanna hear him bitch and moan about how horrible his life is..
