I've been doing a lot of thinking about relationships lately. More than usual. I'm calling into question all of my theories, as it's obvious that they didn't work. But when you take something away, you usually replace it with something else. So I'm working in a vaccuum right now until I have things to replace my discarded theories with.
Motivation to succeed has been a biggie in my in head discussions with myself. I have been trying to remember what I was thinking each time I allowed myself to fall for someone. I know that sounds silly to some. I mean, I was there! I should remember what I was thinking, but history has a funny way of twisting it's self to be self serving to the rememberer.
I think I was thinking that I was relieved to find someone to share life and it's joys and challenges with. In reflecting back I wonder if I was just relieved to not be alone. I didn't have any clear idea of who I was and what my life goals were when I got married. I was happy to let my ex steer our future. Bad idea. Years later I discovered that I did have some thoughts about my future. By then they were not entirely compatable with the course that had already been set. End result ....... we parted ways leaving two children stuck in the middle of it all.
So going forward I need to figure out what I want for myself. Hopefully I find someone who has also taken the time to figure out what they want for themselves. If our goals are similar or compatable who knows ..... it just might work out that we can share the road.
So really, success in a relationship will depend in part on having enough goals in common so that there will be no friction when it comes to plotting a future, but enough different so that we are distinct individuals.
