Okay, so today was supposed to be my day back on track. I have been in recovery from my eating disorder (annorexia with bulimic tendencies) for two years now. However, I have gained way too much weight and must now relapse and lose it all again. I went from a size 2 to a size 12, its insane. I can't believe I let myself get this big. I have to lose the weight. I can't stand my body right now. I am hideous. I woke up around 4pm today and had a cup of dry cereal for breakfast(100 calories). Then went to my group therapy and came home to eat a sandwich (300 calories). I also had a strawberry banana juice (30 calories) and diet dr.pepper. I then went to work from 10 pm to 430 am. At work I had my meal bar (130 calories) and then I fucked up. I ate 3 chicken strips (which are probably 400 calories) and then had regular soda (which i estimate around 300 calories). I feel disgusting. What is wrong with me? Why did I have to go and ruin everything? That means I have had around 1260 calories!!! My goal for the first week was to only have 800 a day! This sucks. And Im exhausted. I wont be going on my run this morning but I will do some core exercises and weight training. Tomorrow will have to be better. To make up for today, the rest of this week I can only have 700 calories per day.