Ok, I'm jobless again. But that's not a bad thing. I was jobless for 6 months and was just fine, and things worked out well. But here's the thing, I'm not sure if I want to get a job again before I graduate or not.
It's not like I want to be a bum or anything, I like to work. I like the challenges, I like to work on projects with other people or on my own, and I'm almost always successful, so there's that satisfaction too. There's also a level of confidence that a man gets when he's got a job. I don't know too many women who feel that way, they can work or not, it doesn't matter to their self image. But most men I know, well, they feel like they're worthless if they don't have a job, and I'm included in that.
I've been told by several reliable sources, such as people who are currently doing it, the career services director at my school, the project manager of the agency I was doing the project for and several others that I still have about 6 months of unemployment left, which will get me through to graduation. So, since this is like drawing on insurance that I paid into for all those years when I actually do need it, then I'm really not being a bum or taking advantage of the system. I don't have a job, nobody's offering me a job, I keep applying for jobs and not hearing anything or hearing that they hired someone with a skill set more inline with what they were looking for, things like that. So it's not for lack of trying.
But here's the thing. Let me start by saying I don't think there's some altruistic bearded being sitting on some golden throne just beyond the veil of our universe who watches my every move and gives me my heart's desire. But I do know that when I decide what I want, I mean really know what I want, then those things that are beyond my control change and it comes to me. That's what happened with my last job. I just got really bored and a little depressed being without a job for so long. My skill set was deteriorating, I was loosing my edge, and I'd missed out on what could have been another 6 months worth of experience on my resume. Even though I didn't really need it, I started 'asking' for a job. Now, I don't get down on my knees, fold my hands and say 'Dear Heavenly Father who rules the universe and all that is in it', I just sorta ask, like talking to a friend, like 'ya know, I'd really like to have a job...'.
Well, when I'd finally determined it's what I wanted a couple months ago and really asked, within a few days a girl that I hadn't talked to in nearly a year came on facebook, we chatted a bit, and she told me about a job interview she was going to two days later and who it was with. Turns out it was an agent that I'd already given a resume to. I contacted him and got an interview, and the girl and I both got the job. I took it even though it was going to pay me less than I was making through unemployment. But it turns out that I qualified for the 'underemployment subsidy', so they were still paying me a portion, and I actually ended up making more per week than I was on unemployment! And because of the circumstances of that job, if I wasn't part of the team of 3 working on that project, it would have failed, unquestionably. But because it was myself and this girl and another girl, and we had all 3 worked on a similar project for the city, and had classes together, we were successful, nearly against all odds. And when it was done, the girl that told me about the job and I started having a personal friendship, not just a work or school friendship. I spent holloween night with her and her friends and we all had a BLAST! I'm having lunch with her tomorrow at her request. So not only did we turn this nearly impossible project into a stellar success and get paid the bonus at the end, I also got a new personal friend out of it. So that's an example of when I really know what I want, and ask for it, the things beyond my control change and it comes to me, and allot of good things come from it.
Now, I like not having any responsibilities except for school. I can come and go as I please, get up when I want and go to sleep when I want, drink however much I want whenever I want to, hell, I could stay in bed for 3 days straight if I felt like it. No bosses, no deadlines, no job stress, no worries about co-workers, none of that stuff.
On the other hand, I made another couple work friends in that busy two months, and had it been more of a perminant situation, I think one of the guys there and I might have become social friends too, we really seemed to get along well. I also know allot of people there got to know me a little and liked and respected me, which makes me feel good. So I'm missing out on that too.
So I'm in a quandry. I know that I can just last out the next 5 months on unemployment, get my degree and move to the other town and get a job through any one of the 3 agencies that I've already worked for, who have a much broader client base down there and who would love to have me on staff.
Or, I can decide that what I really want is a job right now, and then I'll get an offer for just the right job that is the perfect mix of challenges that I've not faced before and tasks that I have a good skill set for, and it'll be a job where they really need me because of my particular skill set, whether they realize it or not.
I'm just not sure what I want to do. I guess that means I've got to be patient for awhile till i make up my mind, huh?
