Despite all of the bad memories that haunt me, somehow I will be ok.  I am hoping for this.  Alot of my symptoms have gone down to a bare minimum.  The biggest problem now is my temper.  It's been flaring pretty dang frequently.  This wasn't happening with the other mood stabilizers.  A few years ago I was put on Lamictal.  I had a pissy assed attitude then too.  I know that I can't work if I am going to blow fuses every time something goes wrong.  See, the problem is the fact that I feel more myself even though my temper blows up.  I don't feel as though something is flying in and out of me anymore.  Perhaps my whole person is this angry individual that has been harmed one too many times.  I was a great deal calmer on the other mood stabilizers, but I felt like things were flying in and out of me.  That wasn't good.    As a whole individual  I am angry, especially when the hacker keeps messing with me.  Though I go through so much, I am trying to live.  That's all I can do, even though it is clear that the hacker would prefer that I get so mad that I kill myself.  Fuck that scumbag.