So I will do my best to keep this short, but I just really have a rant that I need to get out or else I will NEVER sleep tonight!

I have been with my spouse for under 2 years now, but I have known him for around 8 years and dated off and on for all 8 of those years. His mother always has an issue with him which in turn she blames me for it. He doesn't talk to her as much as she would like so today I get emails being belittled and blamed for his failure to do so. Yes we have been together for awhile, but I do not think we have been together long enough for me to be expected to make ALL the contact with his family instead of him!

To try to keep this short I will skip all the back story, but she has always attacked something in our lives saying "we live the wrong way". However, she lives her life even worse than we do if not very simular to how we live ours. The difference we are in early twenties focusing HARD on our future! Still nothing is ever enough. We don't call enough, we don't email back fast enough, we don't make the hour and a half drive to see her often enough. We saw her less than 2 weeks ago. Now today I got multiple emails being attacked about how our family communication is not acceptable. This is all because yesterday I spent the day with my mother and it took me a whole 22 hours to email her back! God Forbid right!!! Guess what the email was for, to find out what her son wants for Christmas because she sent him numerous emails that he ignored!

I then reply OVERLY nice saying we never meant to hurt her feelings by not replying soon enough, but that I think that my spouse's inabilty to communicate with his family should be his responsibilty to deal with! She replies again to tell me that I am in a couple so I am to make sure that he returns calls instantly and many other things about how it is my responsibilty to teach her son how to communicate!!! It was your job to teach him, was it not? I am not a mom!

I have always said I am not your mother, I am not your guardian, I am not your boss. You will make your own decisions and you will deal with your consiquences! Now I find out that I am held responsible for all of his downfalls and faults. He doesn't communicate with his mother daily and she clearly stated today that that is the issue. "It is not okay to go 2 weeks with only communicating through email. It is impersonal and it is not okay for her family even if it is for mine."

To make my last point of the day she then goes on to say numerous times that she always calls me and I do not answer my phone. In the last 8 months, I have got 2 calls from her. One on my birthday (she called knowing I was in the movies) and the other was this last friday. Which she called after seeing on Facebook that I was at the Vet with my dog. She then sent me 2 emails and 3 facebook comments about the dog. All of which I replied to when I got home and had time which was after 10 pm. I mention in my email to her that she did not leave a message and I replied in all other forms so I did not know that a return call was necessary, and I even apologized (even though I think I have NO reason to be sorry). Then she replies to say that she does call me all the time and then I will ignore the call, then she will text me and I answer instantly. They do not allowing text messaging on their plan and they made this clear 8 or 9 months ago because their other son was texting too much. Not to mention that I have NEVER received a text message from this woman!

What am I doing wrong? When did it become my job to tell my boyfriend to have a relationship with his mother! I said that I do not tell him what to do so I am sorry that he does not do better at communicating with her, but maybe we can all work together to come up with a soulution. In the past I have just respected his right to make his own decisions and deal wtih whatever consiquences they may bring. Her response, "Maybe somewhere down the road I needed to help him open up with his feelings, but now you two are together and it is your turn to help him open up.You can 'love' a person, no matter what choices they make, but you do not have to respect there choices. When someone, anyone, doesn't take the time to return a phone call, at least saying they saw that you called, it is a little annoying/rude.  Only because it is then being ignored. You can not respect poor behavior. This goes both ways, I do not know you nearly as well as I know my own son. I think through personal communication comes a closer relationship."

How is this my responsibilty to teach her son how to have a relationship with his own mother? I am just speechless.