The absurdity of it all hits me in full today.

I’m going insane behind my desk over here. I just don’t want to be here anymore. I’m so over this. My position effectively does not exist anymore, yet I’m still employed to, well, I don’t know what I’m employed to do. That’s the thing. I talked to the principal, and she still wants me here in the library for another six weeks, until the end of the year, and asked what I was supposed to do, and she said keep the library operating.

HOW exactly do I do that?! The library has been converted to a classroom, because the two rooms at the front of the building are currently being painted, and the classes have nowhere else to go. Everyone keeps telling me to stop complaining and just do whatever, I’m getting a lot of money for literally doing nothing, but at the price of my sanity. Frankly, I’d rather go back to being broke and unemployed, living off my pathetic student allowance, and the bit of money I’ve saved up. I could do it very easily. I don’t spend that much when I put my mind to it.

I could so easily just leave. I’m on a casual contract, so if I don’t fill out a time sheet I won’t get paid so I won’t be ripping off the school. My boyfriend is house sitting this awesome place at the moment, and he has the day off, like most people in Melbourne, so we could spend the day just chilling on the patio, drinking beer, or cider, or if it heats up like the weather man told me it would, we can go down the street back to his parents house and jump in the pool. The water will be fucking freezing, but it’s better than having my soul frozen by this dirty desk, with my crappy broken office chair and eight year old computers.

Perhaps that’s what’s wrong with me today. It’s a long weekend, and I have to work. Well, it’s a long weekend for every school in Melbourne except mine. Everyone takes the Monday off. It’s Melbourne Cup day tomorrow (yeah, we get a holiday for a horse race, do you?) and it’s generally accepted that today is an ‘unofficial’ public holiday, except not by this school’s illustrious leader. And it’s supposed to be about 30 degrees today. And I’m stuck in this dusty, stuffy, flaking paint brick building that smells like children. Boo. L I wanna go home………………