SoulCast - Mixed emotions.

Mixed emotions.

AppleJuice9 posted on Nov 01, 2009 | views: 44 | Tags: friendship, life, emotions, dont do that

Right now, I am the following :

1.SOOO SUPERDUPER EXCITED

2. betrayed

3. left behind

4. REALLLLLLYYYYYY HAPPPY

5. reallllyyy sad..

6. Just so damn confused.

I swear. Being a teenager sucks ass. I mean really. How is it possible to be feeling alllll this at once?

I'm really happy and excited because I have my date tonight, which I will explain infull detail when i get back.

I'm sad because of the usual. 10 million people not wanting to talk to me for some reason they wont tell me...FUCKING. ANNOYING. Like really, what the hell?

Confused because of Bob. He's one of the ones saddening me the most. I've given up on him reading my blogs; he wants nothing to do with me. Nothing. Not talk, not nothing. His friend offered to talk to him for me, but I said that if Bob wants to talk to me again, I want it to be his decision, and not because his friend asked him to. Bob goes to therapy. His therapist told him a long time ago to stay away from MSN (the only way i have contact with him). Lucky for me, Bob didn't listen. Until now. I want him to get better from whatever is wrong with him, but I just wish there was some other way...

Am I being selfish about this whole thing?

Dear gawd. I want to stop writing about him. But I can't. He's the only one that really understood what I was going through (somewhat). Even dear Benny could only imagine. But Bob knew. And he still knows.

As much as I want him to get better, he should know that every time he presses that "block" or "delete" button, he's hurting me.

RANDOM MOMENT.

I have no idea what I'm gonna wear on my date.

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Comments

Hegemone said on Nov 02, 2009....
I'm led to wonder why his therapist is telling him he should avoid MSN, is it to avoid everyone on there because it's so easy to lose control of a conversation (because of lack of tone, facial expression, etc.), or is it specifically because of you? It sounds like there may be more to the story than what is at face value currently. Try not to take too much to heart, and just think, maybe later when Bob is better, perhaps he will want to talk to you again.
AppleJuice9 said on Nov 02, 2009....

I thought about that, and how it might be me. Actually, the more I consider it, the more it makes sense. I vented to him about everything. I used him, when I could have found enough control to open up Word or something. Telling someone every detail of how you were attacked has got to have an effect on someone.

Now that I'm thinking this, I'm thinking I should apologize to him one more time.

I also hope he decides to talk to me. I really do.
Striving2bseethrough said on Nov 03, 2009....

Be strong! You had a fabulous date with a fabulous person. And life for you is just amazing! You don't need to have Bob read your blog or talk to you on MSN. It would be nice, yes, but I think that this date of yours sounds hot and exciting and I reckon that new relationships, new experiences, new everything (even new clothes for new dates) is something to look forward to and be excited about. My friend told me that I am a warrior princess, and I never understood till now. Apple Your a warrior princess and will be just fine without Bob if he doesn't decide to contact you again. And if he does, that great too! But you need to know that you are wonderful and special and an independent girl that can do what ever she wants!
AppleJuice9 said on Nov 03, 2009....

S2b,

Thank you. =] I hope he comes around, reagardless of what he says to me.

Thanks for your support.

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Mixed emotions.

Comments

Hegemone said on Nov 02, 2009....

AppleJuice9 said on Nov 02, 2009....

Striving2bseethrough said on Nov 03, 2009....

AppleJuice9 said on Nov 03, 2009....

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