here in the philippines it's a holiday on november 1 and 2.
november 1 celebrates all saints day and november 2 celebrates all souls day.
on these dates filipinos goes to the cemetary to lay flowers and candles for their loved ones who passed away...
when i was young we went to the cemetary and lay flowers and candles for my grandma's parents and to those other relatives that i don't know...
i don't really have an appreciation for this day. for me back then death was nothing more but a kind of dream i dreaded to have...
in my last post i mentioned that death was as real as life...
when he died i realized that...
today, i spent the whole day either sleeping or eating or just being plain lazy.
the cemetary where he was buried is in my hometown and there is no way i could go back home and visit his grave...
right now i really wish i could just light a candle on his grave and i can't do that...
today, memories of that accident lingers on my head...
i remember the total shocked of his death. i remember it felt like it was a movie and i was watching that movie... a tragic movie...
i remembered seeing his body being lifted from the water...
i remembered the screams of my friends calling out his name...
i remembered praying and asking to God to make my friend alive...
i remembered the first week after his death where i felt i was nothing... wishing i was the one whod died and not him...
i know i am passed the blame and i have forgiven myself for the event...
but there days like this where i remember him...
and i really miss him...
today i heard this song...
and i remembered the emotions i felt that during his death that this song gave me so much comfort...
whenever i hear this song i feel like he was just here beside me telling me it's going to be okay...
i'm on my stage of my life where my dreams are becoming a reality and i'm really scared because i don't know what's going to happen.
i don't know if my plans will go through or i will be a failure like always...
today hearing this song i remember him...
telling me it's gonna be alright...
i miss him... i miss the friendship...
i'm gonna try and not to be sad today. i know he doesnt want to be sad. i remembered that he always cheer me up when i'm down...
death is as real as life...
that's hard to accept but we have to...
i miss you my friend... i know youre here in our hearts and in our memories...
thank you for sharing the last moments of your life with us...
because it changed mine...
