Everywhere I look, it has suddenly got pretty. All very pinkish, all very frilly, all very girly.
Let me take you back .....
it's 0800hrs Saturday 31/10/09. We clearing the sheets off the beds ready for washing. Go to get clean sheets. Then remember.....have bought new bed and most of the fitted sheets, no longer fit. A point forced home by Princess. "I need new sheets.....pretty ones for summer" I gave the sheets a manly once over. Another 5 years in them I'm thinking. No matter how hard I try. I'm forced to concede that new sheets are indeed required. Though I refused to discuss the prettiness of sheets to be purchased.
So Now it's time to get dressed. "I need new dresses.....pretty ones for summer" Princess informs me. I go through her collection of summer fashions. Yep they are decidedly last year, and the year before. Yep even the stuff I bought for winter is already looking a little on the smaller side. Another point conceded. Yes Princess new clothing is required. "AAAANNNNNDDDDD......new shoes too" she smiles.
"Don't push your luck missy" I say as I check my wallet.
So once it hits 0900hrs....off we go. Get in car, avoid idiot drivers, circle carpark 3 times looking for spot in the shade. (Good car parks in Australia are decided by how much shade, not how close to destination) barge past idiots walking slowly, find required items, argue with Princess over prettiness of items, force her to try the cheap ones on, lose arguement about prettyness and pick other slightly more expensive items, argue again about the prettyness, now have 3 piles, a no pile, a maybe pile and a yes pile. it's now 1100hrs my dream of getting out of there by 0930hrs lies in tatters.
Break for coffee and milkshake.
1130hrs.....hit shops again. Push others out of the way, growl at shop assitants, refuse to buy anything with dora the explorer on it, collapse on sofa that has a big sign saying "Keep Off.....No Sitting Down.....Ask for Assitance" Glare at shop staff with a "Go on ahead....tell me to get off....do you feel lucky....well do ya....PUNK!!!"
1330hrs.....break for lunch.....Give up on finding a healthy option and settle for KFC. "Upsize......FUCK YEAH YOU'D BETTER"
1415hrs.....During lunch I have made choices. I'll go back for this, that can get stuffed, too expensive, to tacky, no reason just a no to that one. Princess can no longer get a word in. "Talk to the hand...cause the head ain't listening, missy"
1525hrs.....Arrive back at car. Still in the shade. In my arms bags that contain, 3 x fitted base sheet, 3 x sheets and pillow cases various pink and frilly girly type designs, 2 x summer dresses, 4 x summer shirts and 2 x skirts and 2 x shorts.
1600hrs Arrive back home. Argue over which of the new sheets go on the bed first. Argue over which of the pretty clothes princess is allowed to wear now.
1700hrs Think about cooking dinner
1745hrs Dump Princess in Bath
1815hrs Dinner.....Delivered pizza, cook has taken the night off.
1900hrs.....read book about going shopping to Princess
1930hrs.....Princess in pretty new bed.
1931hrs.....Starts drinking......
You'd think that was it.........OHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. It seems during all this, I had forgotton that during the week. I promised Princess that I would buy her some flowers in pots for her to grow. So sunday morning down to the garden centre and a wad of cash later we have 4 window boxes. 3 of which we fill with flowers. The last with some herbs, Basil, Chives and Parsley. A very pretty pink watering can, hand held spade and fork and a spray bottle. As according to princess you have to "spray dem flowers wid walter"
What ever happened to my manly weekends.
