I talked earlier about just my utter lack of motivation, and the burn out I was suffering from. Those are very much still entrenched.

But that blessed numbness was too good to be true. I should have known it.

I am back crashing hard again. Trouble sleeping, trouble concentrating, trouble maintaining my control over my emotions. I hate it, and that causes me to feel even worse.

Living with depression sucks. You have to make the decision if it is something you can live with and manage on a day to day level, or if it bad enough that you need to take the medication to help deal with. I have taken Anti-Depressants. I don't like who I am on them (well the ones that I was taking anyway) And I do have to admit that typically, well until lately at least, I have managed my depression fairly well. Yes, I would have weeks where it was harder than others. This current *episode* is by far the longest I have had in awhile. But I am not sure if I think it is bad enough that I need to go back to treating it medically.

So right now, I am all over the place. I am highly aware that stress triggers it, and my life is wall to wall stress right now. Right now, as odd as it sounds, all I want is that numbness back. It was easier to deal with...