well today i saw Master... can i call Her that? W/we are actually talking about that through text right now. It's funny you know i have to ask Her if things are ok with Her cuz She will need to make sure it wont upset POS. I just think its funny cuz normally She would never care She would do whatever She wanted. Anyways, well She wanted to have lunch with me and at first i jumped at it then i learned about some more fucked up things that happened and i wanted to scream no at Her. Still couldnt bring myself to it though i needed to spend time with Her plus i had the key to my collar in my pocket. I had to get Her to take it off. So the time was great W/we shared of course crying was in the mix but i learned a lot more about Her and a lot of my notions were confirmed.
This is what i thought before.... She fell in love with Pretty and to Her I was that when She started noticing that I was more and not like the perfect slave She invisioned from Her books or desires She seemed to not like all the parts of me? idk if thats the proper way to address it. I pointed that out to Her and She said it was somewhat like that but it wasnt that She didnt like the other parts of me it is just that POS is better suited for Her in this life. She said She still feels our spiritual connection very strongly and that is something that has been there from the begining which i completly agree with.
In the middle of our lunch trip POS called and got all in a tizzy. But i love what Master said... She said "Look you dont have anything to worry about cuz she(me) is not a piece of shit like the both of us are" i was like damn! lmao! it is true though cuz i dont want to be the one being cheated on or the other girl in the situation. i may feel like less nothing sometimes in life but i would never stoop that low. I would rather sleep with a man before i cheated and i know you guys dont know me but um that has never happened in my life will nor it ever lol.
W/we were about to part our ways and She hugged me boy was that hard. At first i couldnt even raise my arms to wrap around Her and She asked me what i was thinking and if i didnt want to hug Her. I had tears in my eyes when i looked into Her's and the key for my collar in my hand. The look She gave me tore through me, wish i could explain it to you. She took the key from me and began to undo it the collar, shit i began to sob lol. I know that collar probably meant so much more to me than it did Her, She says it doesnt but i still think it did. She took off the bracelet She was wearing of mine She took it from me when W/we first got together many months ago. W/we are both math nerds and my thing for Her was the infinity symbol for many reasons. So She asked me what it looked like to me... Well its two circles together. So She put the bracelet through the collar and locked it.
I told Her i thought one of the hardest points in my life was when i was wondering around trying to find out who i was inside. She had helped me find that, find who i truly am. I AM A SLAVE! I know that now. But then i told Her that the hardest point in my life wasnt trying to figure out who i was, but the hardest point is knowing who you are and still being alone wondering around just hoping to find "home"
