i am a scorpio and one of the worst traits in a scorpio is insane jealousy. in my own experiences i would even call it crippling. it's like i can't get over any of my little inadequacies enough to even let the littlest things go. i even went so far as to get jealous of my best friend and husband! to me that is a bad sign that i'm sinking deeper into my mental abyss. i know in my heart that nothing could or would ever happen between them but i just see these connections being made and innocent flirtations happening and i see red and black and doom. *sigh* i know that's a bit dramatic. and i reason with myself and tell myself after the fact that its no big deal and them we'll all be in the same room and in the very back of my mind that's what i'm thinking about. talk about a huge buzzkill.
this has always been an underlying problem for me. ever since i was a little girl i can remember getting jealous. one time i had a fit because my dad was paying more attention to another little girl. just really messed up stuff like that. sometimes i think that it would be easier if i were oblivious to it. but i'm not. i know how ridiculous i am being and it makes it even worse. the guilt i feel over being so quick to judge and assume and suspect the ones i love is so consuming.
i feel trapped in an endless cycle. (beware cliche haters!)