A little different format, but that's OK, it's my blog.
~I like sitting with the TV/Radio/Computer/Electronics off, drinking tea or coffee, and just sort of 'being', or maybe reading, or talking. It's nice. I'd like to do it more.
~I like looking around, seeing how clean everything is, and that everything is in order. It fuels the peacefulness in my brain, and when things start getting messy, so do I.
~I'm sick of having to fight so damn hard for what I want, or rather, I'm sick of seeing so many other selfish assholes get their way so easily while I struggle for everything and can't even be sure I'll get my way after all the struggling.
~I realize that once I've been interrupted by an outside source, I struggle to retain my mental composure (i.e. in some cases, mental checklist), and wind up getting flustered and calling it quits for the day if I can. Yet, if I interrupt myself, I have no trouble reorienting myself, and I get more done.
~I've been getting the urge to write more and more lately ... but not on the computer, nor any particular topic, but just to WRITE in general. Thinking of taking the time to type something makes me dread and loath the writing, but by hand, the idea of that excites me. Yet I haven't done anything about it.
~Is there any truth in the thought that what is the point of going to any great lengths of thinking if you have no one to share those thoughts with at the present moment?
~I despise how I'll have a singular thought, and there's really nothing else to it, so I forget it, when really I do want to share it. Which is where these kinds of posts come from. Not one of these things contains enough subject matter to make a whole post, or even a paragraph, but they are worth expressing.
~It is completely tiring that I am beginning to feel that my life is starting to pick up steam in the way that I want it to, and yet I have someone stepping on my coat tails trying to drag me back and/or stop me. I'll start to really feel good, and then somebody shits on me, mostly dad.
~Oh, I'm also tired of blatantly negative attitudes. It makes me want to scream to the damn hills and beat people about the head. If I hear a sarcastic 'good luck', 'you ARE gonna get sick, don't worry' or 'yeah, right, don't push your luck' phrase in reference to anything I am gonna stab whomever says it right in the left nostril and just keep pushing. You want to be negative, I'll show you what being negative means ... because that's gonna be shitty for you to have a sharp knife crammed up your nose ... but me? Oh I would've therefore kept a positive attitude, and look here, that idiot annoying me shut up because they got a knife crammed up their nose. Yay me! See, being positive helps.
Weird mood, I know, must be the change of the season or some such shit, who knows ... or the caffeine.
Hegemone posted on Oct 29, 2009
| views: 141
Comments
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mixednuts said on Oct 29, 2009....
You can always do what octomom did for the money! -
CreativeWoman said on Oct 29, 2009....
You need to surround yourself with people who will grow with you, Hege. I did the opposite and have a lot of regrets. I wish you a happier life than that.
CW
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Hegemone said on Oct 29, 2009....
Mixed - Uh, no. What's with you and your obsession with her lately anyhow?
CW - Yeah, that is true and that's what I want. That's why now I'm not afraid to plainly state 'You are disgustingly negative and that really sucks for you.' You couldn't imagine some of the dirty looks I've gotten, lol. They know their shit isn't going to pass with me, but yet they still try in spite of it, just on the off chance.
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mixednuts said on Oct 29, 2009....
No obsession. It just blows my mind! -
Me-Myself&I said on Oct 29, 2009....
I like your format. i think like that.lol....
you are such an honest soul.
your affords will get you places.
my check lists are written out daily! :~o
i talk in one liners from singular thoughts. lol
weird mood is due to the planets alignment......
......try standing a broom up.... it will stand all by itself. *smile* i walked into the dollar store and the manger had 6-7 brooms thru out the whole store. all kinds too..... there they were standing all by theirselves! too cool!
oh and i agree with CW, you are growing at a faster rate then the rest of your surroundings.
take care ~see ya
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pickersplock said on Oct 29, 2009....
I think "knives up nostrils" is just a dandy tag."Nuts up nostrils" would be good too. -
CreativeWoman said on Oct 29, 2009....
I've stood up to my husband plenty, Hege. You've got to take a deep look to see if he can really put your relationship first or if he even wants to. Actions speak louder than words.
CW
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simplyconfused said on Oct 29, 2009....
I to hate when people just get whatever they want, and handed to them. I do get material things handed to me, however, I don't get the emotional things or the things that I really want that are not material.Mm, if somebody other than myself distracts me I lose where I was, but if it's me I can go back.. odd.Me to me to!.. I to have done nothing... we should do something about it. =]It depends on the thoughts I presume, your sharing them with yourself and perhaps what you are thinking is to better yourself.Agreed, despise that as well.I totally and completely understand, different situations, same stepping on the tail of your coat effect...Again i SO understand, negative attitudes, wanna beat the person to a pulp basically however your knife up the left nostril is far more creative. -
pusscat said on Oct 29, 2009....
Hmmm. . . . I'm thinking not so much weird hun, but focussed. Maybe this is the beginning of things changing somewhat. I can't quite put my finger on it but I sense something coming but I don't know what lol! Gosh I'm getting weirder than you now ;-) -
travelr712 said on Oct 29, 2009....
i think this is absolutely the best thing you've ever written hege :-) -
Hegemone said on Oct 29, 2009....
Mixed - Ah, I get it now.
MMI - Yes, I find myself thinking this way more and more lately. I either haven't got anything to say, or what I do have to say isn't much, and half of it isn't worth turning into anything more developed than what it is. So, sometimes I'm just gonna blurt it out as is and not worry about the rest. Felt good to just get it out instead of filing it away for later, ya know? I'm really feeling that way too, that I'm growing faster than my surroundings and soon something is going to break. I'm just hoping I can get out before that happens.
Pick - Oh, and hey, that might bring about a little less blood! Lol.
CW - That's the way I'm feeling lately, and I guess since our huge scenario a month or two ago, that's sort of put us in test mode currently. He does quite well for a while, and then it's like he gets lazy and quits, and then I've been getting on him and telling him that if he'd like to just call it quits, and live an easier life, I'll be more than happy to part ways so I don't constantly have to be upset because he's falling short of the mark.
Simply - Totally need to get into the writing game, but just, I don't know, I'm lacking the proper muse. It's sort of like when you see a person get an idea, their face brightens, and then they shut back down and shake their head ... it's close, it's on the tip of their tongue, but just not quite there. That's how I feel. And yep, lol, it's sure a whole lot more fun to think of the nostril thing.
PC - Maybe you could be on to something. A change in my thought flow and my daily activities is definitely evident, but yes, I do feel there may be more to come, sooner than I even realize. Yup, this is getting weird, lol.
Trav - Why thank you. :-)
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UnicornForm said on Oct 29, 2009....
Hey, thats so much easier to read. Thanx! -
queenparanoia said on Nov 01, 2009....
isnt it nice to blog it all out? :-)
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