Some Jehovah's witnesses have been coming over.  They pointed out a few things in the bible that I didn't see.  When the guy pulled into our driveway the first time I was on my guard.  I am glad that he gave me a book on what the bible really says.  It is interesting to know that there are actually positive parts of the bible that I didn't read.  I recall being disgusted with the bible because all I kept seeing was negativity.  I am pretty comfortable with these people.  It is interesting learning and conversation.  Now I feel like an ass for being so hostile about Christian religions.  I do have a few reasons for not wanting to be a Southern Baptist though.  One of the reasons is because in the one church they were referring to Jesus as God instead of the son of God like it says in the bible.  It ticked me off.  I knew that it was wrong.  I have been reading the book that they gave me.

 

Here is something odd.  The one Jehovah's Witness came over for the first time last week.  On that same day some Mormons came to our door while I was hanging out across the street.  Talk about wierd.  When my mom told the Mormons that she was not interested, they left giving my neighbor and I dirty looks.  That was an eerie thing to happen.

 

Anyway, I am going to continue to read that book.  Then I am going to pick up the bible and read through it again.  The funny thing is that I am in fact curious about beliefs in a higher force.  I couldn't get into studying the book of Mormon that I recieved last year.  It was so bland and full of shit.  I have lost interest in doing spells as well.  I need to focus my energy on getting my life in order, not spells.  See, I would love to believe in the God of the bible, but when I read parts of it the things that popped out seemed to tell me that I am going to hell.  I didn't like that.  I want to be loved by God the same way many people do.  I had been feeling as though he hates me.  A few of my questions about God were answered, like why this world is so screwed up.  I could actually be a good Christian if I quit cussing and smoking.  I have changed many of my ways.  One thing I don't do anymore is fornicate.  I don't need sex.  Another two things I don't do are drinking and smoking weed.  I don't desire homosexuality at this point either.  My mother bought me the patch, so hopefully, I will quit smoking soon.  I start on them tomorrow.  After I am done smoking tonight, I will give the rest of this pack that I am on.  God has helped me with the other things, so hopefully, he'll help me with that.  I am realizing that I am the one that screwed up so far.  The conversations and teachings have been pretty darn interesting.  (Look, after I mentioned my cussing I am trying to curb myself.  Let's see if I can master that.  Most of the time it spews out when I am teed off.  Who knows, maybe I will actually throw out my witchcraft stuff and tarot cards as time progresses.  I have heard that these things could open me up to demons.  One thing that I notice is that I have had a hard time praying without crap that doesn't belong in prayer going through my head.  I have also noticed lies going through my head.  An example of this is I want the cat dead.  I adore the cat.  I really don't want anything to happen to her.  If I had my way, she'd live forever.  I am getting quite sick of pushing negative things that are the opposite of me out.  Maybe I did open myself up to bad things.  Then again, because of my belief in bad spirits, I may be going through psychosomatic symptoms.  I don't know as of yet.  Despite all of the bad, I see good now.  Thank God.