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Can i tell you I don't love you
when i really do?
 
can you ask me?
because of the chance that i may say yes
and it may change your life
but not in a good way?
 
and in ten thousand years
who the fuck
has ever figured out
what love is
other than how i feel about you?
 
and that could change
 
on a postage stamp
 
but still
i would rather love
and feel that joy
 
isn't that what everyone eventually says
life is all about?
 
there's more to this poem
but it's up to you
to write.


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Comments

  • Hegemone said on Oct 28, 2009....
    Passing through ... and I know it's not for me to finish ... so I'll patiently wait ...
  • queenparanoia said on Oct 29, 2009....
    ...
  • superbozo said on Oct 29, 2009....
    :)
  • woman said on Oct 29, 2009....
    I liked your poem Trav. Especially the line, "it could change on a postage stamp". very original phrasing. Hope your poem finds a blissful ending...
  • travelr712 said on Oct 29, 2009....

    why isn't it for you to finish hege?

    thank you woman :-)

  • Hegemone said on Oct 29, 2009....
    Cause I'm not a poet, lol.  Poetry sort of... well, I think I've literally felt, smelled and sensed it burning my brain cells if I concentrate too hard on it.  Lol.
  • travelr712 said on Oct 29, 2009....
    it's not that hard hege, just write what you feel and condense it into as short of phrases as you can...
  • Hegemone said on Oct 29, 2009....
    BWAHAHAHA!  Have you SEEN my posts?  Short phrases?  Me?!  Bwahahah.  Wait, was this a poem?  :-D
  • travelr712 said on Oct 29, 2009....
    well, it was sorta tongue in cheek... poetry is about choosing phrases to envoke certain emotions or images, and to do it well it's as minimal as possible. your last comment was more of a description than a poem, but you could build on it to make it into a poem. try putting words together that don't normally go together in a sentence but sound really cool when they're together anyway.
  • pickersplock said on Oct 29, 2009....
    Aren't you the poetic one lately? :)
  • wombat said on Oct 29, 2009....

    and that could change

    on a postage stamp......

    I love that line!

    I get the sentiment and the feelings you were expressing.  Maybe someone will finish the poem for you, if there's more to say.

  • Mr.Strange said on Oct 29, 2009....
    I'm wondering what you were feeling when you wrote this.

    It ends like a George Orwell book
  • travelr712 said on Oct 29, 2009....

    i just seem to have words that need to be written down lately pickers.

    it was one of those 'iffy' ones wombie, like, was it just too out there or was it really good? glad you think it's good :-)

    it was an amalgam of feelings i've had and do have for certain women in this world mr, i was sorta talking to all of them, and sorta speaking for everyone everywhere to anyone else, if that makes any sense.

    i'm just totally amazed that one of my poems made the top spot!

  • Mr.Strange said on Oct 29, 2009....
    What you are saying does make sense.

    What you are doing is great.

    I find poems and music are all about summing up experiences in a way that shares them with others.

    Please,

    Have yourself a great day.

    I would love to see more of your work.
  • travelr712 said on Oct 29, 2009....

    well thank you mr. strange, that's quite a compliment. i started writing poetry when i was 15, but i never really got serious about it until i started writing here. this place has really given me the vehicle to 'hone my craft', and i can't tell all soulcasters how much it has done for me that they come and read and comment. it makes me want to get better, kwim?

    i actually went through my posts a couple months ago and transfered all my poems into a word document. it's near 30 pages now. if you like, i'll pick out a few that i think are good and pm them to you.

Comment on "Can i tell you?"

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It is harder to share pain than it is joy. Sometime with the help of friends and family, we endure our pains. But sometimes we have to stand alone. But if you maintain a postive outlook and endure cheerfully, we will find more company along the way....

And

and...
Say Goodnight

Close your eyes
Under starlit skies...
I suppose, anyway, just quit looking at my coffee ... that'll get you into trouble and you don't want trouble....
uggghh...