I´m not sure really where to start with this. I just hope it´s anonymous.
I want to tell about my life, like a confession. More of a journal except if
it´s online it can´t be read. Or it can´t be found. Or if it is... well who´s to
say it´s me?
I grew just outside London, England. I lived with my parents, my little brother,
2 dogs and a guinea pig. Things were pretty nondescript, average and normal
until I hit my teens. I´m not going to blame all this on hanging with the wrong
crowd (although yes that was a big part of it). It´s all been down to me, my
indiscretions, my decisions, my will. Where there´s a will there´s a way. And I
always get my way.
When I was fifteen, well about 3 weeks before my fifteenth, I fell in love. For me
it was love. For him it was a game. Have you ever been so in love with someone
you´d do absolutely anything they asked you to? Well I was. In some sick way I
love him still.
This guy, let´s call him Jason, he was 19, which was oh so mature, or at least I
thought so at the time. He lived near me. He asked me out. We started seeing
each other. I guess then I was borderline rebellious. My home life had been
fairly idealistic but doesn´t every teenage girl get just a little bit rebellious?
I was banned from seeing Jason but it didn´t stop me. Everthing he wanted from
me I wanted to give. Like I was being reborn a whore and that was all I was and
all I wanted. He was so sweet to start with, calling me nice things, buying me little
gifts, stuff like that. Then he changed. I guess he saw me as a toy. I guess he
wanted just something to fuck and that was it. But I hung on to his every word, his
every whim. He´s grab me by the throat, throw me on the bed, rip off my clothes and
fuck me so hard it was like he was trying to break me in two. He´d call me a whore,
a bitch, his fuckpiece, his baby, his princess. I answered to every name he thought
up. It all applied to me. And you know the strange thing? The worse he treated me
the better I became. I became obedient and good and I loved to please him. I loved
it when he grabbed my hair, unzipped his pants and forced his cock down my throat.
I loved feeling capable of turning someone on so much. It was a big deal for a
fifteen year old. It was power. Just that. But the power was mine not his.
We kind of went along together until I was 17 but he wasn´t the only guy I was
with. Jason would let his friends fuck me too, I didn´t mind. He seemed so proud of
me. He got a kick out of watching them grope me roughly, fuck me and he loved it
best when two of them would fuck me at once. I was like a toy and I liked that. I
should´ve known how things would end up. But if you could see me today in my big
expensive house, my clothes, my body (ok some of it´s plastic), my face (botox,
plastic - what´s the big deal?) I am beautiful. I am strong. I am a whore and men
fuck me for money but I LOVE IT AND HOW CAN THAT BE WRONG?
I have travelled a lot, I have met some very interesting people, I have dined in
expensive restaurants, drunk vintage champagne, stayed in some of the best
hotels in the world because I sell myself. I don´t mind admitting that. If you are
rich and stupid enough to pay me for a fuck, that´s fine! Give me the money. Give
me your little frustrated dick for a few minutes. Wham bam thank you sir.
I´m going to tell you about my best customers but not today. It´s late. I have
someone coming round in an hour. Not a customer but a friend. My best friend.
She´s like me but not so strong. She´s my beautiful daughter, not just my
best friend. She´s a little princess, I´m just a dirty one.
DirtyPrincess posted on Sep 28, 2006
| views: 6991
Comments
-
SeanRenaud said on Sep 28, 2006....
First I'm going to start by saying the obvious. Protect yourself. Demand condoms, get yourself checked regularly. Don't let any man talk down to you (calling you a dirty fuck slut isn't talking down to you, you are one. You'll know when a man is talking down to you.)
Second I'll finish by saying I'm proud of you. Its not every day a woman can be proud of who and what she is. There is NOTHING wrong with who and what you are. You are happy with your life and that is what everybody should be so I'm proud of you and admire you. Hell I'm currently trying to push my girl into porn biz since she feels that the only thing she any good at is fucking I figure she might as well make a more per fuck right?
Congrats and don't let anybody lead you away from the path that makes you happy.
-
makefriends said on Sep 28, 2006....
That is quite a story girl!
How are your parents with your "job"?
Where is Jason? Does he know that he was the one that introduced you to your lifestyle?
-
rarity121 said on Sep 29, 2006....
there's no shame in it
:) love yourself!
-
Bluesnake said on Sep 29, 2006....
True, rarity.. there's no shame in it.
You gotta be proud of yourself.
Anyway, welcome to Soulcast!
-
DirtyPrincess said on Sep 29, 2006....
Thanks you guys. I didn´t know whether I´d get any
feedback or how it would be. But it´s nice to know
what I write matters to some people, in whatever way.
I don´t think I have anything to teach but maybe you
enjoy reading my thoughts. I´ll keep it going anyway,
this is kind of liberating.
Have a good day.
-
RollingC said on Sep 29, 2006....
Be yourself, if that's what makes you happy then go for it.
Like SeanRenaud said...protect yourself.
The only thing I feel uncomfortable with is people mistreating you.
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Susmaryosep said on Oct 02, 2006....
I think politicians, and some policemen do things that are morally reprehensible. YOu are making a living, and fulfilling a need.... Just take care always. I knew someone who has to do this for a living, and you just marvel at her mental strength.. Making enough to put her daughter through college, and hiding it from her conservative parents, her actual 'vocation'. That was in the philippines,.... Such a lovely lady... :-(
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DirtyPrincess said on Oct 03, 2006....
She sounds great. I think most women would do anything they could to protect their children or help them. Not everyone could do this job and most women wouldn´t want to. I mean who thinks at school "when I grow up, I want to be a whore" - not many for sure. But it´s just the way things work out for us sometimes.
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Susmaryosep said on Oct 04, 2006....
I hope she is fine now. She even conteplated suicide at one time, that was terrifying. I am quite sure her daughter will look after her, and pray she not get into the vicious cycle of early pregnancies, as pretty and lonely filipino girls are wont to do...
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anonymous said on Aug 31, 2008....
You have every right to be happy, do not belittle yourself ever. We have only the present moment thats why its a gift, if the past haunts you let it go. You are a human like us all we have skeletons in our closets. I have been with a woman 4 years shes a prostitute, iam self employed for 20 yrs. She runs her business very discreet, 20 clients a month. She Loves me this i know. Dont let anyone ever tell you because of your profession that you are not capable of Love. Thank you for your courage. -
anonymous said on Feb 28, 2009....
So far all responses have been, "Do what makes you happy.Don't give a shit to what others think" My question to you, Dirty Princess, is, are you really happy with what you're doing? 'Cos you state that you love and hate yourself. And reading your confession underneath all that I sense pain from you. If you could have a choice again, would you have picked prostitution?
Comment on "From Good Little Girl to Fucked Up Whore"
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