• Hegemone said on Oct 27, 2009....

  Oh boy, yeah, that's pretty much all I have seen this year so far.  I don't dress up anymore, but when I was still, well nothing was like that, that's for sure.  Every costume I've seen on a friend or family member this year has made me somewhat glad I don't dress up ... there's not a prude enough costume out there.  Well, glad you were able to find middle ground on your battle at least, I'm sure you were sweating bullets.

• gingersoul said on Oct 27, 2009....

  Heggie...let me tell you...she wasn't a happy camper about it...but i was even less happy than her...
  
  The vision of your 14 years old daughter all decked up as a little stripper does take years out of your life....lol..
  
  She said she understands why i was so grinding my teeth but that its Halloween and its all for fun and if one can't be over the top now when?
  
  I objected that being that slutt-ishly is not being over the top...its simply being slutt-like....and that there was something wrong in wanted to be like that ...of all the possibilities one can have to unleash their own creativity....again...words lost in the wind...she said i was intellectualizing too much a costume....
  
  I just pity the poor boy who is going to be her date at the party...he is going to have a heart attack.....lol..
  

• fragglesrock said on Oct 27, 2009....

  Ginger...I was the Cleopatra last year...NO! I'm just kidding! LOL! But one of my friends was...and she's in her 20's so that's a WHOLE lot different than a teen girl.  My heart goes out to you.  I loved this blog, the way you wrote it and the way I empathized with it.  I don't have teen girls but I've seen those stores...I loved your line about the apples. You are such a good writer.  I feel lucky in the fact that I have boys and they want to be Ninja's that wear black outfits to the point of covering their faces...lol :) 

• cuppajava said on Oct 27, 2009....

  ".....I mean, the coin was going down very slowly ...."
  Good morning Ginger - I think part of the problem in todays day and age is that because the levels  of censorship are not what they used to be - a lot of previously adult orientated material is too easily accessible to the younger generation.I mean,the internet has only been around since 1991 or so - and you wanna hazard a guess at how many adult sites there are around these days.......? But even then - all you gotta do is watch the television or go to a magazine store - its been desensitized to the extent that it is supposed to be 'ok' to think and look like that.
  Makes you wonder why that coin has been going down slowly in the heads of others too when you look at the amount of sex crime that is happening around the world.I mean - you even have people on FB posing as teenagers to make contact with other teens - it seems that control is being lost every where you look.
  
  .
  

• gingersoul said on Oct 27, 2009....

  Fraggles.......well......at  20 she will wear whatever she will want ...i will not be there to lecture her ...*unfortunately*....
  
  But now....its just too much, too soon...
  
  I asked her what kind of costumes the boys are going to wear at the party and she said "Oh, something like pirates or football players. They don't need to be all dolled up like us"..
  
  And believe me...this comes from a girl who has a very open mind and liberal point of views.....i guess i cant ask too much from her....;-p
  

• gingersoul said on Oct 27, 2009....

  CJ....you touch a delicate topic here...the control issue...
  
  Its like we don't have more defined boundaries, as they used to be before.
  The limits has been pushed further and further, generation after generation.
  Starting from an identical sexual impulse...this generation has undoubtedly a much easier access to the potentiality of satisfy these impulses...a lot more than ours...
  
  One can easily object that the slow dance our parents had one in their home parties with the lights turned off and the making out at any dark corner have had the same value than the ass grinding dance my daughter was telling me about as the "in" dance of the moment ....
  
  I guess only the parameters are different......its not the i am invoking censorship...i just would like to live in a world where 14 ears old girls don't have to think that being this heavily sexual is the key for popularity and success in life...
  
  Italy, my country, is 10 times more liberal in matter of sex than the States..we see in prime time tv stuff that here would be considered soft porn...no kidding.....we go to family beaches in toplesss...the commercials are the most sexualized ones..we have in general a more relaxed approach to sex...strange for a country raised Catholic...yet true...
  
  But even though this sexualization has gotten heavier even in Italy...yet..i don't know..i found that here is different..everything is so much more in your face here ...so  exasperated.... 
  
  I guess its just opening a can of worms....:-)
  

• superbozo said on Oct 28, 2009....

  It's everywhere. I've done a similar post here
   
  I'm lucky at the moment, that I can steer Princess away from such items and clothing. I'm with you, there seems to be a sexualisation of children. I cringe everytime I see a picture and read an article about a pubesent 13 year old who is being touted as the next cat walk sensation. I once came across some old magazines from the 80s. I was shocked when I compared the models. The models in the 80s looked much older than the models of today.

• hairbrushedhubby said on Oct 28, 2009....

  Oh Ginger, I do feel for you and understand, when we were bringing up our three, 2 girls 1 boy, it seemed as if there was no childhood for them, they went from babies to young adults from the minute they started school, their choice not ours.

  They are blasted by what their friends say and do, what is put on tv, the pop culture, (mind you, that's always been there), and what they browse on the internet, as parents we despair about the future and what kind of a world they will inherit.

  And when I spoke a couple of years back to my mother about it, she said she went through the same thing bringing me and my sisters up in the swinging sixties, and everyone knows what that time was like.

  So if anything can be learnt from this it's that your daughter will go through exactly the same things as you are when she becomes a mother.

• starchini said on Oct 28, 2009....

  Wow, I feel old.  When I was 14 we didnt dress up for halloween, we just walked around the neighborhood smashing pumpkins on the street.  Innocent...

• MsBradford07 said on Oct 28, 2009....

  I was watching television last night and they were talking about Miley Cyrus' 9 year old sister being a stripper for Halloween. A nine year old girl dressing up like and other young girls dressing in these adult costume and no one says anything. Crazy.

• javadewd said on Oct 29, 2009....

  Ah, behold! The pornification of our American youth...

• queenparanoia said on Oct 30, 2009....

  you know this is the reason why i always feel an outsider with my generation... because i'm the only 23 year old virgin left...
   
   

• javadewd said on Oct 30, 2009....

  As someone who didn't wait, but had enough good sense to wait to get married, let me tell you Queen, he'll be one very happy lucky guy. My wife would agree : BE PICKY. As much as it may not be a custom fit in an "off the rack" world, you can still "have it your way" and you'll be "lovin' it."

• Alyss said on Nov 01, 2009....

  Oh my...  I think you managed the situation extremely well ginger. The balancing act between control and guidance just gets more complicated with every passing year.
  
  I am dreading this stage with mine.

• gingersoul said on Nov 01, 2009....

  Java......i have to disagree with you....being virgin doesn't have to be associated with being good or better that non virgins...
  
  Its just a life choice.
  Our Queenie is virgin but she does a lot of sexual activities...masturbating, and watching porn and she even has a dick shape tray..:-).
  
  What's her difference with a non virgin girl? The simple act of sex. Not her mind set.
  And the fact that she is not having sex doesn't guarantee at all that she will make her guy happy.
  Actually, there are more chances of a high mix-matching situation...
  
  I don't say this to undermine Queenie's choice..she knows me..i respect her choice, just like any other woman choice of having sex .....i don't think any better of her because she is a virgin....it doesn't give her a plus point..
  
  Fact is i consider all this over value given to virginity a hypocrite value...
  
  We are still trapped in a heritage that are roots in the beginning of society..
  
  Men think of virginity as something to be so very much sought after and highly estimated.....but it boils down to the usual sexist male point of view...a virgin is someone who can't judge, compare or criticize because has never had another dick that yours...simple like that..
  
  In ancient times virginity was the only way the men in a tribe could claim the possession of the women and their babies......since at those times one could never know who was the father 100%  marrying a virgin and having a baby from her was the only way to declare the fatherhood .....meaning the possession of the woman and her family possession as line of hereditary chain and most of all the generations to come....
  
  Yes, men are still subconsciously thinking in that way....:-)

• gingersoul said on Nov 01, 2009....

  Alyss.....i know! Such a fine line here...
  
  You will get there and you will be able to find your own way of dancing through the fire, don't worry....as long as you had planted good roots, good flowers will bloom.......;-p
  
  Btw..she ended up going at the party with her boots instead of high heels because more comfortable.....and I had to show off another balancing control act after the party, btw....it never ends, my dear......:-)
  

• javadewd said on Nov 01, 2009....

  GS, it's not so much about "virginity" as it is about being selective. Even animals are selective as to who they mate with, and humans should have the desire to be a little more intelligent than the animals. We all get randy, but why give it up to just anybody?

• gingersoul said on Nov 01, 2009....

  Java.....but i do understand the concept of being picky......i am very picky too, believe me...sometimes i think i have been too picky in many occasions.....;-p
  
  I've waited until i was past 18 before having my first man...and i could have had sex well before that age...Only...i wanted do it with a man i would have truly loved and i would felt right for me....
  I have been lucky in this. It has been a great first time.
  
  I guess my tirade was more aimed to complain about the hypocrisy that still surrounds the virginity as a value per se. I think Queenie is doing right in waiting for the right man for her.
  
  But all this hyper value given to no sex before marriage in name of a religious dictate is just hypocrisy, imho.
  

• abbonzai said on Nov 01, 2009....

  it's pretty good for that times!
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• queenparanoia said on Nov 02, 2009....

  to java and ginger... this deserves a good post from me to explain my point of view about virginity!!!!
   
  will do that later... ;-)

• javadewd said on Nov 02, 2009....

  I never mentioned virginity... Are you insinuating that I am pushing my religious beliefs on other people? Funny, I don't remember even quoting scripture in this thread. If you have some beef with me or my beliefs, I guess that's your call, but I'd prefer that if you're going to heckle me about it that I should at the very least be guilty of such things first, ya know? I didn't realize that actually being picky about choosing a mate was so debatable or even a bullet point in the Judeo-Christian worldview. If in contrast, we are not suppose to "evolve" into something better than the last generation, then perhaps "progressives" need to change their name to "regressives." I think it's a bit pointless and unnecessary to pick some sort of fight over your simple misunderstanding of my point, but if it's entertaining enough to those reading, I guess I'll indulge you.
  

• queenparanoia said on Nov 02, 2009....

  i just post it!!!
   
  http://www.soulcast.com/post/show/272358/why-i'm-still-a-virgin...

• gingersoul said on Nov 02, 2009....

  Java......where did i mentioned you or your particular religious belief? I was using the "you"as a generic form of addressing the conversation.
  
  I agreed with you about being picky, don't I?
  
  This is what i wrote:
  
  I guess my tirade was more aimed to complain about the hypocrisy that still surrounds the virginity as a value per se. I think Queenie is doing right in waiting for the right man for her
   
  So i don't really understand from what you have perceived that i was connecting you to the religious hypocrisy i was bringing as an example.  As you see, i don't need to be indulged...;-)
  
  Queenie....yes, i read it.....good for you, girl.
  

• javadewd said on Nov 02, 2009....

  Ahem :
  
  
  But all this hyper value given to no sex before marriage in name of a religious dictate is just hypocrisy, imho.
  
  
  You can put away your pitchfork and torches, GS!
  

• queenparanoia said on Nov 03, 2009....

  :-)

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