My Childhood Dreams♥

To live in Germany  (a place where the fairytales I  read while growing up were written)
To visit Denmark ( Hans Christian Andersen !)
To be in Amsterdam (Anne Frank!)
To speak foreign languages, and use it in the places I visited
To be a mom to daugthers
To have a life partner, who will always hold my hand, and kiss me with love in his eyes
To have my name as author of a book, that made a difference to people´s lives


Somewhere in a leather chest (found in an old house in France), in the attic, of a 1950´s building in the north part of Germany, an old diary (bought from the money from my Christmas presents more than 2 decades ago) filled with words written by my young hands, has the same list written above...


What were your childhood dreams?




Childhood dreams - Nelly Furtado

I cant belive you need me
I never thought I would be needed for anything
I can't belive my shoulder would carry such important weight
As your head and your tears
I can't belive you chose me, in all my fragility, me
It hurts so much when i love you, it makes me cry
Every time

Oh You, oh you are, oh you are
The little boy made for me in the stars
In the stars, that's why I can't let you go
The little boy made for me in the stars
That's why I love you more the further it goes
And before this existence you were always there
Waiting for me
You are, you are the realest thing I know
Hands down
The realest thing I know

I am not used to being carried
Or being able to carry a pretty song
I have been bruised by my many trails
Sometimes my skin's so thick it's frail
I just need to be ignored 'til I wake up to the beaty that is yours
And it all comes to life so suddenly
This is a place so deep, the water's so deep I hesitate, cause

All the energy it takes to feel this power
I tend to run, I tend to hide, I tend
'til I find you and I know I got you
I know, I know, I know ...

You're the little boy made for me in the stars
In the stars, that's why I can't let you go
The little boy made for me in the stars
That's why I love you more the further I go
And before this existence you were always here
Inside of me
You are, you are the realest thing I know
Hands down...the realest thing I know

I'm sliding on the raibows of my childhood dreams
I'm sliding on the raibows of my childhood dreams

When you carry me, when you carry me, when you carry me
It's so happy

I'm sliding on the rainbows of my childhood dreams
I'm sliding on the raibows of my childhood dreams...


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Comments

  • uniquely-ironic said on Oct 27, 2009....
    I remember wanting to live in a city and have a cute apartment.  Weird for a very country girl.  I think I imagined that if I lived in a city I could go to concerts, nice dinners, soak in the cultures and customs of other countries.  While I'm pretty much doing that now, I never realized how much I'd miss the country.
  • PAPERBACKWRITER said on Oct 27, 2009....

    You know, uni, as a child, I knew I won´t be spending my adulthood in the country of my birth but across the oceans.  I always felt this affinity to Europe even at a very young age.

    And although I won´t have it any other way, a part of me wonders what would have been if I stayed, and not followed this yearning, this wanderlust...


  • PAPERBACKWRITER said on Oct 27, 2009....

    Oh, uni I have to add, I have always been a city girl since birth, and now, I live in a village, where if you take a walk you will see all farm animals that is mentioned in Old McDonalds children´s nursery rhyme! lol  And I never thought I would enjoy it.


  • Hegemone said on Oct 27, 2009....
    Too cool Paper, just too cool.  Now, you ask what some of my childhood dreams may have been?

    • To always live a life with animals, and to somehow make a positive difference in THEIR world.
    • To do things that would make my grandma proud.
    • To be a writer, some how, some way, to get published.

    Those I remember right off the top of my head anyway.
  • Lucytorial said on Oct 27, 2009....
    to lead a life less ordinary - little did I know that living that life is one very difficult challenge.  Still the joy it brings far outweighs the budens.
  • fragglesrock said on Oct 27, 2009....

    This is an awesome post Papergirl :)  I'm so glad you are living out some of your dreams, and then some others that you never knew you had...

    My childhood dreams....

    My favorite cousin and I wanted to share an apartment when we grew up.  We did that.  Other than that I don't remember very many dreams.  I know that I had dreams of being a bioligist. That didn't happen. It's so very weird, it's like I always just existed with no goals or dreams.  seriously. Ask anyone close to me, I don't really have goals and dreams. I just exist. I mean happily, and I live each day to the fullest that I can, but no goals... Ah, shit, now I have to go really figure this out....lol. WHY HAVEN'T I EVER HAD LITTLE GIRL DREAMS?! How weird am I???? Maybe I just don't remember.  I think I'll go with that.

  • scipio said on Oct 28, 2009....
    If all the childhood dreams were fulfilled than you have been very lucky....
    Life is easier to take than you'd think: all that is necessary is to accept the impossible,do without the indispensible and bear the intolerable.
  • PAPERBACKWRITER said on Oct 29, 2009....

    heggies - your childhood dreams shows me again (i have read you mentioned each individually in posts), how warm and wonderful your spirit is

    luscious lucy - yes, i totally agree, juiciness... acknowleding the balance on everything is a paramount key to enjoying the fulfillment of you dreams... because in my opinion, it is easy to achieve dreams, enjoying them is a challenge, that is constant...

    fraggylicious - taaankies, sistah... i need to write again, write openly about the blessings i have received...reflect how life has been good to me... because it is one of the things that i have seen, that is helping me with the many transitions i am going through with my family.... and also the process of closure in so many aspects of my life....

    and i DON´T THINK you are weird :P for not having  little girl´s dream! i agree, that you probably just did not write it, but it is there in your subconscious... until it is fulfilled and you will go, "Whoa... this feels good, like coming home!" :)

    scipio - hey, scipio how are you!?!  I have to visit your blog; I have not seen you around much :)

    yes, they all were fulfilled. :) as i said to fragglesrock, i need to write again, not only because i love words...but i need to show myself, what i have so far accomplished in life, to reflect on who i am now...to be able to go on with my new life with lesser load from the past... it is like, preparing myself to open new pages for new dreams...

    :) you word of wisdom, i am thinking are based from experience...care to share your childhood dreams ?


  • queenparanoia said on Oct 29, 2009....

    to be a scientist.. well that didnt happen... LOL...

    the truth is i really don't remember those childhood dreams. i was way to busy being the osecond oldest responsible sister. but growing up (and until today) i realize what i really want in life and now i'm workig hard towards it... ;-)

  • PAPERBACKWRITER said on Oct 29, 2009....

    queenie - wishing you only the best, kapatid...

    and like i said to fraggy... (I actually got it from my psychiatrist, lol) everything is stored in our brain... it will just resurface when we are ready for it, ready to look back :), when we are not busy anymore in trying to go somewhere...or if one is ready to be still and reflect (as in my case)... my childhood dreams were what made me focus and forge on, when i felt weak...

    oh, i hear mary wake up from her nap! lol :)


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