So, here's my sad sack story. In February, my mom died. Like most people, I took her for granted while she was alive, even though she was in poor health much of her adult life and it was a miracle she made it to 65. Now I realize that she was the one person in the world I could truly count on to be there for me through thick and thin. Shortly after she died, it became apparent that my marriage was falling apart - had been falling apart for years. My husband had been withdrawing from me since our daughter was born in 2004, and was completely absent while I grieved for my mother.

 

We decided I would move out for a 6-month trial separation. At first, having my own place back in the city (I never really got used to living in the burbs) was wonderful and liberating. Then I found out from my five-year old that daddy had started seeing someone he went to high school with the week after I left. This was not against the "rules," but it hurt that he had found someone else so quickly, and I started to get the feeling he had no intention of ever trying to resolve our problems. After several months, he finally admitted this was true. I felt, after such a strong beginning and the fact that we both could admit the roles we played in our marital problems, that we should at least try to work things out. He was so afraid that we were going to turn into his parents (a horrible marriage that should have ended decades ago) that he wouldn't even discuss trying.

 

Through all this, I so missed the one person who would have been my rock - my mom. Now I feel so alone it hurts. I have a little family left and a couple close friends, but no one who I would feel comfortable asking to sit and hold me for an hour while I cry. My daughter is the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning, and I only have her half time.

 

And did I mention I got laid off in September? My life has turned into a tragi-comedy. I try to laugh at all this, but I just can't. As the days get grayer and colder, I wonder how I will keep my head above water, financially and emotionally.