Help! New things have been a feature of my life of late, new situations, people, relationships, hopes, dreams and a few new problems with it. Its part of why i started this blog, to document it all.

 

I am trying hard to be positive through lot of change, and I have not in the past always done change well. I get scared, i keep rolling out the same patterns and freezing myself into situations that cause me a level of pain.

Does anyone else do this? I cannot be the only one.

 

I am trying to be flexible, not to worry, to go with the flow and see where it takes me. Not to over think things, OMG its hard some times. My kids always lead me by example on this...they dont care where life takes  them they tackle everything wth glee  they adapt...They have faith it will be ok, me im just a little Jaded but im trying really hard to turn it around.

 

Anyone else been here? How did you do it? How do you get rid  that feeling of wanting to run like hell?

 

My guy has moved in and i love him to bits, i know he makes me feel safe and secure and he loves me, he has taken on my children like his own ( hell how often does that happen) and all the crap that comes with us, Stood  by side against my ex and supported me all the way. Yet i sat on my sofa grumping like hell for no apparent reason last night churning up the past in my head and getting  ready to fight. But it wasnt anything he has done, its me, i was so used to fighting when i lived with the ex, the fight or flight response is just there and its lurking...i need to kill it off before it gets a chance to take hold and kill my relationship.

 

Maybe im just paranoid (doesn't mean there not out to get you i know!) So called friends have really caused me pain of late by talking all kinds of crap, rejecting my new man 'cos of the age difference ( he is 10 years younger than me) The ex is still being a tosser over the cash he owes me, and at a time when i hould be happy and going with the flow im a little lost, scared and confused.

 

Anyone else been here? How the hell do you fix it? OR can you just let it go ...