I have started to post about a million times, both here and at my regular blog. But always stop.

Lately, everything that has come out of my mouth, seems like I am bitching about something, and really...that's not all I ever do.

But I just am lacking the motivation to do anything. Even feel any strong emotions about a damned thing. On one hand it's kinda nice not being on the roller coaster of emotions that I am typically on, but its also strangely unsettling.

I have no motivation to get up and put on make up or really do anything with my hair before work each morning. I can't tell you when the last time I wore make-up was. I'm not even caring all that much about what I wear to the office, as long as it is appropriate, and in good condition, I will throw it on. Well, as long as it doesn't require heels.

Part of the apathy I am stuck in is burn out. I know it. I spent the last week with a sick kid, trying to not get sick myself, and take care of about a thousand other things - as some of my friends say, I was in my SuperMom mode. But you can only be in SuperMom mode for so long before your batteries die. And I am not motivated enough to change them. And its sure as hell looking like there is no one around that cares enough to help me re-charge. So I am just going along with the status quo. As long as I am not in a pit of depression, the apathy I can live with.

I guess the good thing about the lack of energy and motivation...my obsessing seems to be under control. No more visions and all that. No more talking to myself...