let me tell you, one thing you learn about people when you start dating them is that they know NOTHING about the actuality of how their family actually thinks. they swim along day in day out trading pleasantries with those they "share blood" with, but when they all go to sleep at night they all have very different thoughts and feelings about their precious family members.

the worst is when the family gangs up on a person that is dating "one of theirs", and then blames any contrary thought their family member has on that outside person. what the family doesnt realize is that they are stealing the personhood of their family member, and calling them an idiot to their face, but they dont care because they are doing it out of what they think is good for "the family".

what i wish is that when a family operates as a unit, and encounters an "outsider" that they do not like, is that they would confront that outsider like adults who have a problem. "we dont like you because..." is a great approach to open and honest communication. this way, no one is establishing a false relationship with someone's family just because they think everything is going great with them, and really every little bit of information the family is gaining because of this relationship they have is being used against them on a covert level.

people need to learn how to drop their facades. family is only as deep as the truth, and in too many families, the truth is never told.
are you dealing with fake ass family members? i certainly am, and i CANT STAND IT!!!!