Ah well it’s been a pretty good day all in all.  I even managed to get a brand new $45 pair of pants for just $10 too!  In that process, I figured out that my legs and ass have shrunk.   I had to change the type/fit of jeans I used to buy because they just didn’t fit right.  I tried on the new style suggested to me, and bammo, fit like a charm without giving me ‘baggy ass syndrome’.  Awesome!

Tomorrow I’m going to go see if I can’t find a new work shirt or two.  See, I get coupons in the mail to certain places that have clothes to my liking, fit and style.  I just happened to be lucky enough to have the cash to flex with, and I know the new clothes are necessary.  I can justify spending $20-$25 on new clothes as opposed to the $65-$75 I could spend without sales or coupons.

It also seems I’ve got a little bit of something planned out for tomorrow and Thursday, to get me out of the house on my own for a while.  It’s been really refreshing going and doing these things on my own, going at my pace, and enjoying it so much.  Tomorrow I’ll be hitting my WW meeting, and then going to seek out a new work shirt or two.  Thursday I’m hoping I’ll be able to go to the vet to get the tranq/sedative for my horse, and in that same trip I’ll be going to return the Magnesium Citrate I initially purchased (since I have not even opened it and won’t be using it), and also I’ll probably knock out the Wal-Mart shop.  By Friday, there won’t be a thing to do.  I intend on doing a lot of cleaning tomorrow since I know my dad will be working.  He most likely won’t be working Thursday because of the rain, so I’m going to try to knock everything out when I know he’ll be gone and out of my way.

Things with my husband are still going well.  Things are still as I first mentioned, in that I’m not asking him to do things, and I’m not going out of my way to talk to him.  He’s not being such an ass, nor is he being so thoughtless either.  I would like to say that I’ve successfully overcome all of the shitty, negative feelings I was having. 

I haven’t even had a ghost of a negative fit today.  I’m NOT going to let the negativity in.  I refuse.  It just isn’t gonna happen.  I tell you, I’d sure like to listen to my meditation CD too, I think it’d be entirely helpful, but I rarely get time in the day to sit and do it, I just can’t make myself concentrate, or sit doing nothing for that long, and my damn ear buds for the iPod crapped out.  So, that’s on the list of things to get at Wal-Mart on Thursday.

I can tell you though, that I’ve been doing a LOT of thinking.  I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my own mind, its inner workings, and what it’s like. 

I guess the whole ‘going out’ or ‘going in’ thing got me on that thought path.  I just wonder what sorts of activities in my brain go on that make those things happen.  That’s sort of why I posted those lyrics.  The way I choose to take them, it’s a sort of ‘mental house’.  Even if that’s not what the song is really talking about, it’s my own perception and it spurred these thoughts.  I think my ‘house’ is definitely big, and there are lots of rooms that have been closed up that I’m just now beginning to open and let sunshine into.  Other rooms, I’m tidying up, closing, locking and throwing away the key.  Yet apparently there are things in those rooms that don’t want to be locked away.  Also, apparently sometimes I find it hard to ignore those things and instead I ‘run away and hide’ either within myself, or completely away from myself.

I don’t know if that makes a bit of sense to you guys, but it does me, and since I feel better having expressed that, I’m not going to go into full detail really.  If the time comes where I feel I need to, I will, but until then, sorry, it’s what you’ve got, and it’s my blog after all, so I can be vague sometimes.

At the present moment, I’m tired, my eyes are burning, my stomach is full, we’re finishing a movie, and I’m thinking it’ll be time for bed soon.  And so, with that, I’m drawing this one to a close.