A long long time ago, back in the day when tigers smoked pipes, far far up in the land of ice and snow, there lived the king and queen of all penguins.  They had a young, precocious daughter who liked to get into all sorts of trouble. 

"She'll never learn to behave!" some of them scoffed. 

"How undignified!", the others sneered. 

"What a rotten child!" some said. 

This made the little princess very upset.  She was angry, too.  She was just having a guffaw, making people laugh and stuff.  People shouldn't say such mean things to little baby penguins, especially the princess of all penguins. 

"I'll show them!", she vowed.  "I'll run away and that'll show them!  They'll cry and say, 'oh boo-hoo.  Why were we so mean to the princess?'  They'll be sorry." 

So she packed up her royal bindle, said good bye to all her stuffed animals, except for Mr. Hobbsie Bear, whom she couldn't part with, and headed out into the wild. 

An old walrus had once told her that there are other flightless birds further down towards the sun.  "A month swim towards the sun", he said.  "Just follow the mackerel." 

Mackerels are these tiny little tasty fishies that the princess loved.  You should try them, too.  They might smell funny but they're delicious.  Though the princess would tell you that they're best eaten raw and swallowed whole, you should probably try them cooked first.  With just a little bit of butter and garlic, little salt and pepper, squeeze a few lemon wedges when it's close to being done...  Yum...  It was one of the staples of the penguin diet.  A source of life, if you will. 

Sorry.  Got distracted by the holy mackerels. 

Anyways, so she heads off.  She starts swimming towards the sun.  For the first few days, she had a lot of company.  The dolphins led the way, the younger seals followed, and everyone chased mackerels and got along.  Soon, the younger seals got tired and dropped out.  "We'd rather hunt for crabs here!", they said.  Eventually, even the dolphins dropped out.  "We're sick of mackerel!", they complained.  "We'd rather hunt for tuna here!" 

She waved good-bye to each and every one of them, but she persisted.  Eventually, even the seagulls quit.  "It's getting too hot!", they huffed.  "We're getting too close to the sun!"   They circled the mackerels one last time and headed to cooler airs. 

She didn't feel the sting of the sun because she was an excellent swimmer.  It was always cool in the water.  Though she has noticed that even the water itself has gotten quite a bit warmer. 

And soon, all the mackerels just simply died.  They spawned, laid their eggs and all just died.  The eggs were too small for the princess to eat.  She didn't like dead mackerels, either.  Call her picky if you will, but she just didn't like them.  She'd rather puke than eat dead mackerel!  No! 

So carefully, she made it towards the shore.  On the way, she heard someone say, "Hey!  Wait a minute!  Slow down just a sec!"  She had heard the late night tales by the old walrus back at her home.  Suspiciously, she turned around.  "What is it?", she asked.  "Who are you?" she said. 

"If you leave the water, we can't play together", said the fish swimming towards her.  Something about his smile she didn't like.  She hopped out of the water just as the smile opened to reveal rows and rows of teeth. 

"I don't know how you play where you're from, but we don't hurt people we play with.", said the princess.  The shark swam around the shallowest part he could go.  At the water's edge, the princess stuck her tongue out at the shark and continued on.  There had to be something to eat somewhere, she thought. 

After walking a while, she realized how hot it was outside.  Each step drained the strength she had in her.  A few feet into the bush, she became very tired and sleepy.  She was starting to get really hungry, too.  "What can I eat around here?", she wondered out loud. 

"What would you like to eat?", asked a log in the water.  Without even thinking about it, she answered.  "Fish", she said.  "Mackerels". 

"Well I happen to have plenty of mackerels over here", said the floating log.  Then the log opened up.  "You just have to climb down in there", said the log. 

The princess eyed the log suspiciously.  She knew something wasn't right about this situation, but she just couldn't figure out what it was.  It looked like the log had eyes.  And around the edges of the opening, there were these little sharp pointy things that looked like teeth.  But she was so hungry...  She took another step towards the opening in the log. 

Then she heard a voice.  "Don't do it!", he said.  "Get away from that thing!"

She jumped back as the opening snapped shut with a loud crack.  The crocodile rushed up the riverbank, but he was too slow for the princess.  She flapped her arms and she had flown! 

What had actually happened was... 

No.  She didn't fly.  Because penguins can't fly.  She thought she did, but she didn't. 

She was rescued, you see?  She was rescued by the strangest bird she had ever seen in her whole entire life.  She had never seen a bird that looked like this, not even in the storybooks.  He had these long, lanky legs, black fluffy feathers with white tips, and a curiously long neck.  A tiny little crown sat on his bald little head. 

"Are you alright, miss?" asked the strange bird.  "I am the prince of the Ostriches.  We are the descendants of Ostrich the Great.  My father, and his father before him, we've all been the kings of the Ostriches, as I will be one day, and my descendants thereafter, since the Ostrich the Great received the heavenly mandate, until the end of our days". 

"Umm...", she said.  "I've come a long way to meet you, I think.  Are you a flightless bird, by chance?" 

He looked at her intently.  "I've heard of you", he said. 





The rest of the story next time I stop in, okay? 

Thanks for dropping in. 

Nighty night!