Im trying to be patient when Phil has important things to do.  I keep thinking "ok, when hes finished with that he will be home and then I can get done what I need to and he can watch Remington".  But when he gets home he comes in and says "hi" and is telling me about the next batch of "urgent" things that need done and is out the door again.

He is always moving something or winterizing something or having to make trips to take this or that back or has to go fix this or this will happen and needs to go buy this to get this done or else and blah blah blah. 

This whole time all of my urgent things keep piling up around me undone and im left alone with Remington.

I told him last night how I felt, I basically said that I would like him to make more time for Remington so that I can get some of my important things done.  He didnt really have anything to offer towards solving the problem.  He says "idk what you want me to do, these things need to get done".  I told him "well idk what you want me to do, our bills need paid, our laundry needs done, our toilets and kitchens need cleaned and I would like to take a shower this week". 

I explained to him that I feel like he simply doesnt think the things I need to get done are important.  I explained that I dont think its fair that he strolls in and tells me he is going to do this without even asking what I need to do before he leaves the house and doesnt get back until Remington is in bed.  Automatically assuming that I have nothing else to do but take care of Remington. 

He says things like "well, you dont work, your here all day, why cant you get stuff done inbetween taking care of Remington?"....excuse me?  INBETWEEN???

What inbetween?  There is no inbetween.  I dont know what the fuck other moms are doing.  I simply cannot take care of Remington in the way that I think he needs taken care of while managing our 5 bedroom house, keeping up with all of my paper work from running the office from home, and keeping our finances in order while keeping the fridge full, dinner on the table, and food in our pets bellies.  FUCK!

Im not like Phil, I cant just leave Remington on the floor and go about my business while he screams with boredom.  That is what Phil does when he finally does come around to watch Remi.  Ill pass Remi over and go to my office to get work done.  I go in to check on Phil with Remi and Phil is on the couch watching tv rubbing his foot on Remingtons belly while he squirms on the floor like a dog.  WTF???

"What are you doing?"

"playing with our baby..."

"No, your scratching his belly like hes a damn dog, pick him up, talk to him, play with him, change a diaper, do something!  Yea, I could prolly get more done around the house if I treated Remington like one of our pets!"...

And a'course my critique on his Remington skills started a big arguement, Phil got really defensive and I cant blame him. 

The fight wasnt a very big deal, I got my frustration out in the open and he told me he would try to help me out a little more...

Then he told me the next few nights he was going to orchard to drop off a trailer and pick up a car and blah blah blah, im only gonna see him at lunch time all week....

Wow, what a big effort...

Then he has the nerve to bitch at me about the $15.00 late fee on our electric bill. 

I DONT HAVE TIME!!!

Gah, im just so frustrated!

PLUS!!!  The instant Remington turned 5 months old he became even MORE demanding.  He is now constantly fighting sleep, it takes an act of God to get him to take a damn nap. 

Just this morning!  I rocked and rocked and rocked, he was crying and rubbing his eyes, so clearly exhausted.  After my rocking efforts didnt work I decided to let him work it out, I played with him a little more.  We played until he was crying and could barely hold his head up.  I rocked him some more, he just squirmed and cried more.  He was fed, but I got another couple ounces thinking that would put him to sleep.  He drank em up and fell asleep in my arms.  YAY!!!  I put him in his basinett and he woke up and started screaming....Carseat, thats was my next  brilliant idea, it worked when i did it yesterday.  I stuck him in it and I carried my 17 pound baby in a ten pound carseat all around the house and swung him about for a half an hour!  My arms were exhausted, i peered down and there he was, content, but wide awake...Are you kidding me!?  WTF!?  SLEEPY TIME!!!

I gave up, I was pretty damn frustrated.  On top of all this I kept wishing Phil could see this.  He doestn understand how it  could take me over an hour to get Remington to take a nap.  Oh man, I got even more mad thinking about how Phil wouldnt believe that I spend all morning trying to get our very cranky baby to take a damn nap. 

As a last ditch effort bc I tried everything else, I put him in my over the shoulder baby carrier, he was super pissed about it at first, still yawning and crying and rubbing his eyes...I got him in and began walking around and singing.  He was not happy.  I grabbed the vacuum and drug it into the kitchen.  I plugged it in turned it on, turned the foucet on and turned the radio on static and on high and I started bouncing him up and down.  I must have looked rediculous jumping around inthe kitchen with lal these appliances running....

Finally, just as I was getting a charlie horse, ahh....There was my little angel, sound asleep with his binky side ways hitting his nose. 

I debated freezing in place for an hour but I had to pee...

I finally got him to sleep....omg...

Now its 11 am, and ive done nothing but gotten Remi to take a nap.  Im already exhausted...alright, now im off to take a shower and clean the kitchen. 

If he sleeps long enough.  Odds are he will wake up and force me out of the shower with shampoo in my hair...