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I quite often get this urge to run away from it all. Sometimes I think I am selfish thinking this because of the hurt it will cause to close ones, but I can't always deal with the boredom and routine in my life. I am constantly day dreaming about the better things I could be doing but this always seems to coincide with wanting to move to another country. Don't get me wrong my life isn't bad I have a job, a family that love me and friends that are amazing. But I'm not settled and I don't know why. Yes, I want my own family one day but if this was the case surely I would be content with what I have now, instead of having this urge to run away from it all. I don't know, maybe because my friends know what they want and my family is completly opposite me so don't really understand I don't know who to turn to. I am just constantly battling with myself.. So the question is would running away and starting a new life somewhere with hardly any of the old ties and relationship, would it change anything or would I still feel the same. Maybe what I am trying to say is, at the moment I can't be myself because of the constraints and expectations of other people! Either way it scares me that one day I might get up pack my suitcase and get on a plane to New Zealand with no thought of what I am leaving behind. I said to my mum the other day, "If one day you wake up and I am not here,don't worry I am probably in a different country" She just laughed, which I found bizarre, surely she should have asked, why? This is probably all a cry for help and direction. I am not suicidal just want a change. Very dramatic, I know!

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  • UnicornForm said on Oct 17, 2009....
    running always puts off things, and i been doing to much of it. i dont reccomend it but i know what you mean.
     
    if you could just start off in a new place where you can be you without people asking why you are acting different it would be great.
     
    but if you are battling your self, which in all matters of the negative you are, than theres no runnning no hiding.
     
    just got to jump and hope you or an angel can cushion yourself when you land.
     
  • lovelifeandsingle said on Oct 18, 2009....
    thanks unicorn! But quick question because didn't really understand, am I jumping into the unknown or reality, because if I jump into the unknown then that would be me running away. I don't know why I am so negative! I am so confused, I need an escape
  • UnicornForm said on Oct 18, 2009....

    well if you stay its reality, if you go than is the unknown - or i would think so

     a short excape aint a bad idea you know, you should probably look into an idea of sorts,

     or just go on a jog to run your worries/stresses away.

  • lovelifeandsingle said on Oct 18, 2009....
    going for a jog sounds like a good idea. I am going to qatar for a couple of weeks on friday, so here is hoping it will help a little. Hobby sounds good but like in previous posts where I started spanish and guitar I have now quit spanish and semi quit guitar. My big problem is I love the unknown, the minute it becomes real I get slightly bored crazy I know. Arghhhhhhhhhhhh, I can't think right!
  • UnicornForm said on Oct 18, 2009....
    I totally understnd. I started playing guitar and its been off and on, but i plan to get serious about it. I hope you havae fun on ur trip.Ill get bored with something and go watch ttv which is just as boring. Pathetic i know! Like i want to start jup roping again and i get caught up in the unnown, the unknown reason behind why its become so uncomtorable, why my ankle cracks, etc.
  • lovelifeandsingle said on Oct 19, 2009....
    totally with you there! I need to do something and stick to it. TV is such an easy route out especially the tv series that get you hooked like csi,bones,two and a half men etc etc. I have started sooooo many things and just quit. I am nearly 23 and have nothing to show for it. Including doing something for God
  • UnicornForm said on Oct 22, 2009....
    I hear u. I feel like i could be getting more out of my life iff i wont so lazy and acted likke i know something. ( Like i got will power, grace, knowlede, athletic ability, abilities in general) i think you doing somehting for god right now, probably everyday ! for example,
     
    you know when you do stuff sometimes you need that extra push or soemhting to back you up? whther it be materials, will, exercise, kind words? 
     
    well talking with you i realize i need to go now, you know? quit waiting around etc.
    use my short time here wisely.
     
    gods with you and working through you, i couldve told you that without what your last words were
  • lovelifeandsingle said on Oct 23, 2009....
    awww thanks for saying that I really appreciate it. I am just glad there are other people who go through exact same feelings!

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