I quite often get this urge to run away from it all. Sometimes I think I am selfish thinking this because of the hurt it will cause to close ones, but I can't always deal with the boredom and routine in my life. I am constantly day dreaming about the better things I could be doing but this always seems to coincide with wanting to move to another country. Don't get me wrong my life isn't bad I have a job, a family that love me and friends that are amazing. But I'm not settled and I don't know why. Yes, I want my own family one day but if this was the case surely I would be content with what I have now, instead of having this urge to run away from it all. I don't know, maybe because my friends know what they want and my family is completly opposite me so don't really understand I don't know who to turn to. I am just constantly battling with myself.. So the question is would running away and starting a new life somewhere with hardly any of the old ties and relationship, would it change anything or would I still feel the same. Maybe what I am trying to say is, at the moment I can't be myself because of the constraints and expectations of other people! Either way it scares me that one day I might get up pack my suitcase and get on a plane to New Zealand with no thought of what I am leaving behind. I said to my mum the other day, "If one day you wake up and I am not here,don't worry I am probably in a different country" She just laughed, which I found bizarre, surely she should have asked, why? This is probably all a cry for help and direction. I am not suicidal just want a change. Very dramatic, I know!



