Daddy and I have fallen into a type of routine. It isn't the routine I wanted him to give me. ( I asked for that a while back, but he says he won't give it to me until I am done with my work training so that I"m not getting up any earlier than I already have to). But we Both try to get to work early, usually our morning consists of kissing, touching, talking, then we have to get to work or go to some meeting. Lunch we spend together, and that is when the real fun begins. He let me set out his lunch today. I love to do that, cuz it is a way for me to completely serve him in our regular time together. And then of course there is almost always a little discipline for me ( last week it consisted of me learning just how much I liked to be spanked with a ruler lol). Usually its' several hard swats with his hand, it's not a punishment, it's more a reminder that I'm his..and part of it was punishment for not asking for permission to cum. I learned my lesson though. After I had forgotten the second time, Daddy made my ass quite sore..I had a hard time not flinching when I sat the rest of the day. Daddy always gets a nice bj. I soooo love doing that..especially after I've been disciplined..I like watching him enjoy himself.
We are dying for some real time together..with a bed and just us..but it has to wait. he also has to hold out on the fucking me because my medicine got messed up, and his first objective is keeping me safe and taken care of. But he doesn't seem to mind too much lol. Then I always get a good bye kiss. Today was extra perfect cuz I also got to sit at his feet..something I don't get to much of these days..cuz if someone where to come in, it's hard to explain why i'm sitting on the floor lol. But it was a wonderful lunch. I can't wait until I have jucier stuff to write for you guys lol. On a side note, I think I may be a bit of a painslut..I"m not sure though. I mean, I like to be slapped and spanked and all that, but I don't know how much I could really handle..Daddy and I decided we will play around with a few different things and see what i like, what I can handle, and we will go slow and work me up to harder things.
Other than that life is stressful. I don't want to leave Daddy, but I sooo want to be done with all this school/work training so I can get a job. But I'm enjoying my Daddy time. Daddy was struggling today. I don't think he will mind me saying that, but I"ll be brief just in case. He has a lot of personal stuff going on at home right now, and he feels like he is slipping with me, or not being there like he should be. This came from him forgetting to send me a good night text, which he hasn't done in the almost one year we have been together. And this weekend was rough for both of us and things just weren't working for us getting to say good night like we do. And yes, I'll admit that it was hard for me, and I"m hurt when he doesn't do exactly what he says when he says, but I also understand that things happen. But I didn't think about until he brought it up to me. That he doesn't want me to start to think that He is use to me so he doesn't need to follow through. He was genuinely upset about it, which I took as a compliment. HE is amazing and I know things get tough for him, so I don't stress it too much. And it helps that I know what else is happening with him so I don't freak when I have to wait an 20 minutes to talk to him rather than the 10 he told me it would take lol.
This whole D/s thing has been an amazing learning experience. For me and Daddy both. IT's like I finally figured out what this other piece of me was. Now I can see traits of D/s that I"ve always had in me, but that I never knew what it was exaclty...I just thought it was wierd, I mean what kind of girl fantasizes about being kidnapped and used as a sex object? ( insert feminest uproar here). But this so fits, and Daddy and I fit.
We have a new issue to talk about too. Although I'm not sure when we will get the chance. I keep a journal, or at least I did for about two years. And in it is every bad thing I"ve done, or thought about myself in the last two years. It is full of self-hate, and i can barely read it. I told Daddy that I want to let him read it and then I want to get rid of it. Why do I need to keep all those bad memories of the things i did in the past? Do i really need ot remind myself of those things that made me hate me? is it important? Daddy said he didn't need to read it, it was up to me if he did, but that we needed to talk about it, and then he would get rid of it, and we could do it together. But I"m not sure he remembers..a lot has happened in his world since then. But he is still my Daddy, so I"ll be patient and wait my turn. and support him always...
wow..i didn't think I had that much to say *giggle*....
