Another strange weekend.
Just like last weekend.
I know I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning exhuasted and completely drained, again, before the week has even begun.
Never go to sleep angry, that's what they say.
Well, I'm not angry. Maybe a little disappointed in myself, and in him. But I'm mostly upset because he misunderstood about why I was upset in the first place. So that's my fault, I know that. But he shouldn't have done what he did in the first place, and that's his fault.
Cut down, the situation is this. I was at Samson's place this arvo, with only a few hours before I had to go home. His mate calls up and wants to come over for a while. I say to Samson, "Are you sure you don't want me to go now. I can if you want me to, I don't mind."
And he says "Nah, I don't want you to go yet. It's still so early" Fine. okay. Decided.
But then his mates rocks up at the front door with a six pack, and Samson says "oh, honey, I better take you home now, I don't wanna drink and drive, is that okay?" Hmmm. "You can stay if you want to through, can't your mum come pick you up? Can't you get the train?"
And I said......... "Okay, cool, that's fine. But you know, you don't HAVE TO drink and drive. Couldn't you just NOT drink?"
"Nah, I'll just take you home now, if that's ok."
"Yeah. No. Great. Fine. I see you've made a choice there. Excellent. I'll go now."
This was of course followed later by phone calls and messages. Some a little nicer in nature than others. But, basically, he seemed to think that I was pissed off that I couldn't spend more time with him, and I that I don't want him drinking with his mates.
Well, yes, I did want to spend some more time with him, and his mate too, I like him, my problem is not with that. I'm upset because everything is fine until the prospect of drinking is introduced. I know that this problem never would have been there had his lovely friend not rocked up with that six pack. I mean, I'm VERY happy that Samson doesn't want drink drive, I know he will never do that. It's just that, for him, responsible drinking does not consist of having just one or two beers, waiting a little while, then taking me home, it's eliminating the need to drive, operate machinery, do anything that he could be blamed for, might have to take responsibility for, then get shit faced. And sometimes he doesn't even bother to do that, with the exception of driving.
And why, when just this morning he was complaining about how bad he feels after he drinks now, and how he is going to try and "cut down" on the alcohol, again, does he go and do this? I've brought this up with him several times before too, after whatever incident it was that made him feel sorry for himself...
I was going to tell him why I was really pissed off this evening when he called me, but he was kinda drunk anyway so I just didn't see the point.
I know I was being a bit whiny and dramatic as well, but I'll be the first to admit it.
sigh......... I'm going to go make myself a nice pot of tea, have a shower, maybe paint my nails........... Still, after all my venting I don't feel much better. And even stranger, being mad at him just makes me miss him more.... I need to punch him in the face then hug him til he bleeds....................
