If Tara Banks and Simon Cowell were asked to describe me, they would sum me up in one word… FORGETTABLE.
As much as we wish that people would judge us based on character and not the outer shell, we know this is not the truth. People judge the book by its cover….they are either drawn to us or dismiss us instantly based on how they first perceive us. Yes, it really shouldn’t matter what people think about us, since at the end of the day, the only voice that will matter the most is the one in your head, BUT, if we are trying to get ahead in life, those first impressions really do matter a lot, they are the ones that can make us or break us.
It is not that I am a boring person, far from that, it is I tend to be very critical of myself, which results in me coming across as shy, a snob, standoffish, or even quiet and insecure. Funny thing is, if you ask my friends and people who don’t know me to describe me, there is no consensus. My friends’ jaws practically drop whenever they hear me described as reserved. They all ask, “She? Quiet? Nobody can run a mouth like her!”
College was a much easier setting for me to make friends. Since it takes me longer than most to open up, if you are taking almost the same classes with people for close to four years, there comes a time when you eventually let some of them in. My friends from college were the ones who persisted. They would keep on talking to me even though I didn’t initially talk much. Then once I got to know them better, I opened up and my true fun loving self came out. I really did end up having tons of fun in college. I remember how when one of my friends got a jeep with no radio on it, I was usually the one who led the group singing out loud our favorite songs, from Dido, to Backstreet Boys (what can I say, we were groupies!) to the oldies. Those were the days!
Now that I have been out of college for so long, I have not had a chance to find a huge group of people who have been patient enough with me to allow me to come out of my shell so I can be friends with them. There have been numerous opportunities that I feel I have deprived myself because I took too long being critical of myself, instead of taking the friendly hands that were extended to me. By the time I came to, the people had put their hands back in their pockets and moved on. Most everywhere I go, I like to blend with the shadows and remain inconspicuous.
So now I have decided to stop thinking about faking confidence, and start faking it already. My ideal self would be a warm, friendly, and outgoing person who cares about people. Even though I am an introvert, I tend to need to be around people for the most part. I will start treating everybody like my long lost friends. Instead of over thinking, holding back on starting a conversation because I am afraid I will come across as needy, stupid, or even worse, ignorant, I will say hi to all and sundry with a smile on my face.
Have you ever been shy or felt intimidated by strangers? How have you overcome that? If you are one of those people who don’t know no strangers, what drives you to reach out to others and include them in? I would like to know how the frame of mind comes into play when trying to become a sociable person.
