I watched the office tonight.  I love the show, it is one of my favorites.   It was Pam and Jim's wedding.   It was wonderful.  It left me destroyed though.  I know it is not real life, I promise I do but.....I want that.  I want that person who looks at me and sees the love of the their life.  The person that they knew they loved the moment they met them.  That they were the one and were willing to wait or do what they needed to to be with them when all i said and done.   My boyfriend doesn't look at me that way....he never has.....I have always looked at him that way though.  It is kind of devistating.  I do not want to get married...it doesnt matter to me but...I want  the person I am with to want to marry me...to want to spend the rest of their life with me....who can picture growing old side by side.   Is that unrealistic is what I need to ask myself.