One last thought for tonight ... I'm tired, and I'm not immediately upset anymore, but it's like a slow, dull burn. It's still there. I'll be able to sleep, but I could probably nag and rant and whine for hours. What would be the point? It might make me feel better, just getting it OUT, but it wouldn't do any good and nobody probably wants to hear it. Either way, I'm too tired to keep going anyway, but this is cutting deep and I don't like that I've got to suck it up and just take it until we can move out.
Just because I don't like it doesn't mean I won't do it. I AM allowed to say I don't like it, and I'm allowed to rant about it all I want in the mean time if that's what keeps me sane until we're the fuck out of here. So don't any of you dare tell me to quit whining and just DO something, because I AM.
No, this isn't aimed at anybody, this is just me being upset and going into defense mode I guess. It's habit. I hope some day it doesn't have to be my first reaction.
Fuck.
Hegemone posted on Oct 07, 2009
| views: 101
Comments
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wishyouwerehere said on Oct 08, 2009....
Hege - ultimately, you only answer to yourself. Do what you have to do to be happy, and don't waste time on explanations.And yes, I never used to think so - but holding things in is unhealthy and has a tendency to magnify them. Get it out, woman - bitch to your heart's content! -
superbozo said on Oct 08, 2009....
A thosand mile journey starts with one step.Hang in there Hege. You and your hubby deserve your freedom and we all know your working your butts off to get there. Don't let anyone else judge you. It seems your dad and others do far to much of that and get it wrong. Good Luck. (((hugs))) -
mixednuts said on Oct 08, 2009....
The rants are half of the FUN! -
simplyconfused said on Oct 08, 2009....
There is nothing wrong with venting it out. It helps for sure! -
Freedom♥ said on Oct 09, 2009....
we all want to hear it :) -
Hegemone said on Oct 09, 2009....
Wishy - That is so true. I agree that holding things in does tend to be unhealthy. It allows things to fester and become so much more and so much deeper than what they started out to be. I can't tell you how good it felt to have written these posts, and then to have verbally ranted, whined and nagged to a couple of friends about it, and my mom, over the last couple of days.
Bozo - Awesome quote. Yes, we are working our rear ends off trying to get out and be away for our own health and sanity. I need to work a little harder at not letting what others might say or do get to me, at the end of the day, they're not in my head, nor are they living my life.
Mixed - Yeah, a little bit I guess.
Simply - True, very true.
Freedom - That is good to know. :-)
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UnicornForm said on Oct 12, 2009....
fuckity fuckit fuckems fuck.hey a good stress releiver for me is to use fuck in one sentence as much as possible.I hope one day my defense changes to productive instead of non productive,, or recessive...)Hug( -
Hegemone said on Oct 12, 2009....
UF - Yeah, that word does allow for a pretty good amount of stress relief, lol.
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