life is back to normal for me...
it's still the boring routine...
house... internet... hardware store...
nothing much is going on....
for people on the outside that's what they notice but inside i know something is different...
i mean yes, the situation, my dreams and my goals are the same but nowadays ive been thinking more about myself and what i want more deeply.
maybe it's the resut of the storm. or how nearly i died during the flood. or how i keep thinking i don't wanna die yet. or maybe just maybe...
i realize if i become patient and work hard i will get what i want...
if i stop complaining about the present situation and just accept it... it would be easier to get what i want...
in my life i wonder why i want the things the i can't explain. or why i love that person. or why do i enjoy something that no one does or why... just why???
i would never understand why i love food... is it because i grew up with my grandmother's wonderful cooking or because i use food as my comfort that it became an addiction or simply because i enjoy eating?
i don't really know...
or why am i still inlove with this person after all that has happened... it' going to be a year now and i still feel the same way. there were so many tears and laughter as well... there were so many emotions...
but here i am still feeling the same way. i know a lot of people will argue but i know myself enough that this kind of love is rare and hard for me to let go. and i'm still taking a chance that i know most people are scared to take...
i don't really know...
or how do i able to keep on smiling and has the hope and courage to fight for what i want even if the most logical thing to do is to give up and just accept what everybody think is what good for me...
but this is my life...
and i want to live it the way i wanted to live...
i don't really know the answers to the question,s i stop asking because i know i would never be satisfied if i keep asking...
so here i am...
just letting the questions go and live my life i wanted it to be...
todays i found myself staring to space and just humming to myself... my worker finds it weird...
but i was enjoying myself because i was humming in my universe...
nobody can hear...
but i'm enjoying it... :-)
keep on blogging!!!
