Hi again, haven't blogged for a long time.  Things are good and different.  not an active sub anymore.  not sure why.  We've talked about it and He didn't feel i really wanted to be His sub and i admitted to some issues with L still being even vaguely in the picture while we experience the M/s thing.  but she's mostly gone and He did express an interest in starting training again but we haven't really gotten off the ground with it.  Life intrudes.  Money, jobs, partners, kids, etc. etc. etc. 

 

i'm feeling a little conflicted about it.  i'd like to try again, i love the feeling of trust and letting go for him.  but our last sessions before we stopped were quite uncomfortable, a little too much maybe for the time and that's part of why i'm not sure how i feel about it.  i still feel like i have the right to say it was very painful but i felt at the time like He was disappointed in me for expressing it.  maybe i got that wrong.

 

He's struggling a little with feelings about L i think.  He says he's not but actions speak louder than words.  i want to give him time and room - we'll be fine either way.  Still having good sex, just not as often.  guess that's why i'm back here - working out how i feel about all this.  we did talk about me getting tied up today...... that would be fun.

 

we'll see..............